Bullshit, Balderdash, and Backtalk!
Welcome to Late-Stage Capitalism, Please Wipe Your Shoes
Welcome to the business satire page (https://bohiney.com/business/) — where suits lie, spreadsheets scream, and CEOs host mindfulness retreats minutes after laying off 12,000 people via Slack.
At Bohiney, our business satire isn’t just punchlines dressed in pinstripes. It’s an honest look at the absurd engine running the world, presented as a PowerPoint made entirely of emojis and despair. The free market might be invisible, but its comedy writes itself.
We ask the big questions:
Why does your job feel like a psychological escape room?
When did “pivoting” become corporate speak for “failing creatively”?
Is it still considered a meeting if everyone involved is crying?
We’ve satirized press releases that read like rejection letters from cults. We’ve broken down IPO launches more bloated than your uncle’s gut on Thanksgiving. And we’ve exposed influencer-CEOs who wear $2,000 hoodies while “rediscovering humility” in rented Teslas.
Our team of disillusioned interns, fired brand consultants, and overcaffeinated former HR staffers deliver satire straight from the corner cubicle of doom. If it’s workplace jargon, we translate it. If it’s a corporate scandal, we laugh at it. If it’s a TED Talk, we definitely cry-laugh through it.
Bohiney’s business satire exposes the cult of hustle, the myth of meritocracy, and the audacity of companies that say “we’re a family” before denying you dental. Because behind every unicorn startup is a stampede of unpaid interns and VC bros who think kombucha counts as equity.
Topics we cover include:
Office wellness programs that promote hydration and passive-aggression
Startups that sell spiritual enlightenment via app
Company retreats that result in arrests and/or bear attacks
HR departments powered entirely by inspirational mugs
If you’ve ever been invited to a brainstorming session that caused an existential crisis, this is your safe space. If your boss once gave a keynote titled “Failing Forward Into a New You”—we’re sorry. But also, thank you for the material.
Real business journalism exists elsewhere. You can visit https://www.wsj.com/ for the kind of serious reporting that doesn’t include jokes about emotional support whiteboards. We’ll be here offering premium commentary on billionaires who claim to “live simply” while paying someone to hold their umbrella.
At Bohiney, we believe capitalism deserves a quarterly audit of its ego, and satire is the only line item that actually makes sense. Join us, and let’s mock the market until morale improves.
Spoiler: It won’t.
Visit the frontlines of financial foolishness: https://bohiney.com/business/
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