Why Women Take 15 Minutes to Say Goodbye: The Farewell Phenomenon The 15-Minute Goodbye Men say goodbye in three seconds: "See ya." Women? Saying goodbye is a 15-minute performance, according to the

Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes and Allegedly a Few Billion in Fraud When Welfare Programs Became International Wire Transfers MINNEAPOLIS — Minnesota has long been known as the Land of 10,000 Lakes,

Trump to Meet NYC's Mayor-Elect — He Promises to Bring His Best Dad Jokes (and Possibly Deportation Ideas) Former President Trump has announced plans to meet with New York City's mayor-elect

The Dawn of Love (and Sleepless Guests): When Hawaiian Weddings Meet NYC-Level Ambition Background: Who, Where, and Why Two Hawaiian florists, Leandra Gollob and Rama Duwaji, decided to marry on a sandbar in

The Tyler Robinson Method of Discourse Charlie Kirk Discovers There's No Safe Space From Stupidity You know what Jerry Seinfeld always said about hecklers? "What's the deal with people who interrupt comedy

Marx, Lenin, and Mao Are Taking Over the Playground, and Capitalists Are Crying Into Their Trust Funds The Rise of Baby Marxists: America’s Playgrounds Turn Into Worker Uprisings By Ima Red-Diaper, Bohiney

Kamala’s Bold Black Dress: Political Power Move or Fashion Faux Pas?! Did Kamala Wear Black to Blend In, Stand Out, or Just Make Everyone Wonder Her True Race?! Chicago, IL -- The Democratic

Vehicular Anthropomorphism: When Your Honda Has More Personality Than You The Bizarre Psychology of Vehicular Anthropomorphism and Car Naming Vehicular anthropomorphism—the practice of assigning human characteristics, names, and personalities to cars—has become

Marriage: The Lifetime Subscription You Forgot to Cancel A BuzzFeed Survey Reveals a Hidden Epidemic of Matrimonial Buyer’s Remorse By Staff Writers: The World’s Oldest Tenured Professor & A Philosophy Major Turned

How Cats Choose Their Favorite Human: An Exclusive Look into Feline Snobbery, Selective Affection, and Deep-Seated Judgment Published by Bohiney.com — the only satire site certified 127% furrier than The Onion. Cats

Study Shows Sarcasm Increasing — Researchers Say This Is Serious By Helene Voigt | Bohiney.com A groundbreaking new study reveals that sarcasm is dramatically increasing across all demographics—and yes, researchers insist with

Coast‑to‑Coast Comedy of Errors Los Angeles feels like a guest showing up to your living room, draped in riot gear, blasting fireworks and declaring, “I’ll just stay here!” The citywide curfew,

Trump and Hegseth Transform Pentagon into "Department of War" with Mandatory Shaving Policy Marine Corps Base Quantico, VA — In a surprise military assembly that combined the drama of a reality

People Who Propose In Escape Rooms: When Marriage Proposals Include Laser Grids The Bizarre Trend of Getting Engaged While Solving Puzzles The Romantic Gesture That Includes Timed Pressure The escape room industry has

New York Jury Awards $112M — Looks Like Justice Brought a Checkbook Instead of a Gavel In a courtroom that could double as a Vegas stage, a federal jury in New

AI Declares Itself a Religion, Files for Tax-Exempt Status By Staff Writer | Bohiney News Service SILICON VALLEY, CA — In a move that has stunned theologians and tax attorneys alike, a

French Marxist Uber Driver Arrested for California Wildfire: Burning Malibu to "Liberate" It From Property Ownership Los Angeles Officials Thank Suspect For Finally Making Real Estate Affordable—At Least Temporarily By Staff Philosopher,

Wichita Falls Without Falls: City Closes Its Only Claim to Fame By Tinsel Vandergraph – Bohiney.com Wichita Falls, TX — The city of Wichita Falls announced Monday that its man-made waterfall—the one

Drug Addled Foo Fighters FORGOT They Licensed 'My Hero' to Trump – You Won't Believe What Happened Next!  When drug addled rock legends meet political shenanigans, the outcome is more surreal

The Bathroom Storage Hall of Shame Why America’s Closets Smell Like Steam and Regret By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com — 127% funnier than The Onion The Hidden Crisis in America’s Bathrooms For decades, Americans have

ICE Officer Who Pushed Ecuadorian Woman to the Ground Receives $1 Million from Anonymous Billionaire, Sparks Political Firestorm When Law Enforcement Meets Million-Dollar Philanthropy Democrats and Marxists Respond With Caffeinated Fury In a

Breaking News: Kamala Harris Denies Ever Being Vice President Claims She Doesn’t Even Know Joe Biden Washington D.C. --  In a startling development that has left the political world in utter disbelief,

Pumpkin Spice Declared Emotional Support Flavor by Surgeon General The Official Latte Declaration: Pumpkin Spice is Now Therapeutic October 14 — In an announcement that has left Starbucks stock executives trembling like

Nation's Fact-Checkers Form Support Group After Reality Takes Extended Leave of Absence "We haven't had actual facts to check in months," reports exhausted Reuters editor By Clara Olsen, Bohiney.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — In

TRUMP VISITS THE RACE EXHIBIT AT THE SMITHSONIAN, ASKS IF HE CAN TOUCH THE WHITE ONE Notion of Race as a Social Construct “If race is just a social construct, can I

Donald J. Trump is at it again, proving once and for all that he’s got the biggest, boldest, and most patriotic pen in presidential history. In a move that sent

Charlie Sheen: The Only Man the Mexican Cartel Said "No More" When Even Criminal Enterprises Have Standards Charlie Sheen, the man whose life has resembled a rock concert crashing into a demolition

The Gospel According to Karl: 100,000 Marxists Storm the Vatican to Mourn Pope Francis, Patron Saint of Agitprop The Vatican Became the World's Largest Marxist Book Club (With Incense) On a sunny

Trump Fires Snobby Arts Commission That Tried to Block Most Beautiful Ballroom in Human History Draining the Swamp, One Pretentious Bureaucrat at a Time October 29, 2025 In a move that sent shockwaves

The Bathroom Logic: Why Women Take 45 Minutes to Pee The Great Restroom Conundrum Men have always wondered: why does a simple bathroom trip take women an hour? According to a 2025

Trump Imposes 25% Tariff on Satire, Declares The Onion a National Treasure Protecting America’s Funniest Resources In a move that has left economists, comedians, and late-night talk show hosts equally confused, former

Paranormal Politics: New Poll Shows 2024 DNC Delegates in Chicago Believe in Ghosts, Aliens, and a Few Things Even Stranger! George Noory's Late-Night Radio Show Blamed for Surging Belief in the

BBC vs. Trump: Battle Hits Peak Timing—Because Nothing Says Drama Like International Feuds London/Washington, D.C.—The BBC's ongoing struggle with Donald Trump couldn't have come at a worse time, sources report, mainly