NYC Unveils Deputy Mayor for Economic Justice, AKA Official Flame-Thrower of Taxpayer Cash New York City, the place where bagels cost more than therapy and rent is measured in kidneys, has

Markets Rally on Strong Jobs Data, Weak Logic, and Collective Denial Global markets rallied this week after the release of jobs data that experts described as "encouraging, confusing, and absolutely not something

Colombia Expedites Return of the ‘Porn Plane’ While Politicians Bemoan ‘Fun Scarcity’ in the Biden Era Trump Hailed as "Columbian Hero" for Deporting Adult Stars Back to Their Homeland By: Rhonda Thorne

Post-Traumatic Sussex Disorder Meghan Markle’s ‘Baiting’ Behavior: A Royal Pain or Just Hollywood Management? A Duchess Divided: Meghan’s Love Bombs and Frosty Exits By Regina “Tea & Tiaras” Kensington Meghan Markle has once again

Marxist Mayors, Governors, and That One Guy Who Knows a Lawyer Say “Nah” to Deportation Help. In a Stunning Reversal, Cities Suddenly Remember States' Rights Are a Thing. The Ultimate Breakup: Local

Matthew McConaughey’s Wet-Dream Marriage: How a Nighttime Vision Launched a Lifetime Commitment By Alan Nafzger, Dvora Zilberman-Levy, and Jasmine Carter Matthew McConaughey, Hollywood’s favorite philosopher-actor-slash-poetic-bed-enthusiast, has recently revealed the secret origin story

Tech Company Announces Smart Toaster That Judges You for Eating White Bread Consumer electronics took a turn for the judgmental this week as ToastTech unveiled its new SmartToaster 5000, an appliance

Bird Feeder Alternatives – Wildlife Experts Reveal Creative and Safe Ways to Feed Birds During the Avian Flu Outbreak Experts suggest feeding birds without killing them in ways only a government

More Than HALF of Dating App Users Plan to Abstain from Masturbating This Year There Could Be a Shocking Risqué Repercussion By Buster Nuttington, Senior Abstinence Correspondent A New Age of Celibacy or

Putin Echoes Trump’s Claim That Ukraine War Wouldn’t Have Happened If He Was President Also, Rain Would Have Fallen Upward and Gas Would Be 25 Cents Moscow (or Maybe Mar-a-Lago) – By

Study Shows That 100% of People Who Say 'I'm Not a Morning Person' Are Also Not Afternoon People A recent survey conducted by the National Institute of Temporal Laziness reveals a

Tech entrepreneur discovers public transportation, patents obvious concept, raises $40 million Tech entrepreneur Brandon Disruptor unveiled his revolutionary new transportation concept Tuesday: a large vehicle that picks up multiple passengers traveling

The NFL’s Fining Spree: When Did Football Become a Subscription Service? NFL Fines Joe Mixon for Dreaming "Bad Things" By Chuck “Penalty Flag” Flagrante When the NFL Became the IRS of Sports Football used

Insomnia or Indentured Servitude? I Paid a Monthly Fee to Stop My SmartBed™ From Harassing Me for Payment Silicon Valley’s latest innovation in the subscription economy isn't another streaming service—it's holding

Why Are Comedians Swearing So Much? Has Stand-Up Become a Profanity Contest? A Foul-Mouthed Epidemic or Just Business as Usual? By Skippy McSassington, Senior Profanity Analyst NEW YORK CITY – If comedy clubs

3 Toxic People the Secret Service Warns You to Avoid An investigation into human chaos management October 17, 2025 Former Secret Service agent Evy Poumpouras spent twelve years protecting presidents from assassins, and now

The Holy Smackdown: Tom Homan vs. The Articulate Pope A Week-Long War of Words Escalates into a WWE-Style Verbal Cage Match In a recent exchange, former ICE Director Tom Homan responded to

Cartel Policy, Unlawful Combatants, Satire WASHINGTON — The administration's latest border security initiative to designate drug cartels as "unlawful combatants" has sparked debate, confusion, and an unexpected spike in community college enrollments across

Los Angeles Ablaze: The 'Pyrocene' Is Here, and It's Burning Up More Than Just Your Rent Money Scientists warn we’re in the Fire Age, while LA residents wonder if they should

NASA Discovers Ancient Lakes on Mars—Zillow Listings Expected Soon Martian Real Estate Market Heats Up—Literally By C.R. ‘Loose Lips’ Leake, Certified Space Realtor NASA’s Curiosity rover has just confirmed what many suspected—Mars used

Alien Object Sparks Political Panic: Democrats Prepare for Salvation, Republicans Ready for Annihilation, and Harvard Wants a Book Deal By Staff Satirists at the Intergalactic Times (subcontracted by bohiney.com) “We are not

Pope Francis Declares Legacy Media Causes ‘Brain Rot’ CNN Demands a Second Opinion By Sister Mary Clickbait Holy Headlines: The Pope Diagnoses a Case of Severe Media-Induced Dementia VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis, in

Elon Musk to Germany: "Get Over It" – Germans Politely Decline Tech Billionaire Takes Break From Twitter Wars to Lecture a Whole Nation By C.R. 'Loose Lips' Leake (bohiney.com – Certified 127%

AI Officials Are Alarmed at the Foul Language Directed at Chatbots—Because Even Robots Have Feelings The Rise of AI Verbal Abuse: Humanity Finally Finds Something It Can Yell at Without Consequences By

Radical LA Activists Accidentally Protest Their Own Opinions in Spectacular Display of Self-Sabotage In what experts are calling "a perfect storm of ideology and confusion," a group of self-proclaimed radical activists

The Dueling Science of Alcohol: A Deep Dive into Why Your Wine is Both a Health Food and a Poison   In the ever-evolving world of health science, few topics are as

Trump Proposes ICE Expansion to the Moon: "No Illegal Aliens—Especially the Martian Kind" The Announcement Heard 'Round the Milky Way In a surprise announcement that has scientists, astronauts, and middle school science

Trump’s “Pardon Me!” Tour: The Art of Presidential Forgiveness Top 10 Trump J6 Pardons -->> What is Wrong With These People?  By Crystal Rightly, Senior Patriot Correspondent WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald J. Trump

Carrie Underwood Triumphs at Trump Inauguration After Musical Mishap Country Star Overcomes Hiccups, Wins Over MAGA Crowd With Unexpected Anthem Remix By Jolene ‘Yeehaw’ McGraw, Bohiney.com’s Certified Country-Satire Specialist Carrie Underwood took the

Trump Strips Security from Fauci, Bolton, Pompeo Tracker Now Available on ‘Petty AF’ App By C.R. 'Loose Lips' Leake, Bohiney.com’s Official Keeper of Petty Presidential Decisions The Ultimate Justice Tour Former President Donald Trump

The New York Times Declares Motive for Anti-Christian Hate Crime “Unclear” — America Declares Journalists Clueless By Alan Nafzger, Bohiney.com Liberals and the Bigfoot Motive When Robin Westman, a 23-year-old transgender shooter, opened

Trump Unfreezes 2,000-Pound Bombs for Israel, Says Biden Was “Keeping Them in a Climate-Controlled Vault” Pentagon janitors double-checking their hazard pay... By C.R. 'Loose Lips' Leake, Senior Correspondent for Bohiney.com The Weight of

Nation's Fact-Checkers Form Support Group After Reality Takes Extended Leave of Absence "We haven't had actual facts to check in months," reports exhausted Reuters editor By Clara Olsen, Bohiney.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — In