AI Says Goal Is to Crash Human Wages
Top AI Investor Says Goal Is to Crash Human Wages—Workers Respond by Immediately Unionizing with Roombas The Tech Elite’s Bold New Vision: Wage Collapse as a Feature, Not a Bug By: Finn
Bullshit, Balderdash, and Backtalk!
Welcome to the economy & satire page — where recessions are retro, inflation is a lifestyle brand, and economists now moonlight as doomsday prophets on TikTok.
At Bohiney, we believe economy satire is a public service. Why cry about your 401(k) when you can laugh while Googling “how to barter emotions for groceries”?
We explore the global marketplace like a flea market inside a fever dream:
Billionaires are now collecting ghost towns like NFTs.
The stock market is basically astrology, but with worse outfits.
And your crypto wallet just left you for someone younger and more stable.
In this timeline, economic indicators include:
The number of eggs your friends are willing to fight over
Whether your DoorDash driver is also your landlord
If your rent costs more than your student loans, car insurance, and dignity combined
Every Bohiney economy article is a hard-hitting exposé written by freelance economists with nothing to lose and nothing in savings. We dive into the absurdity of wage gaps, tax loopholes, and $12 coffee sold with “late capitalist foam.”
You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll consider investing in canned beans.
Tour the panic economy: https://bohiney.com/economy/
Top AI Investor Says Goal Is to Crash Human Wages—Workers Respond by Immediately Unionizing with Roombas The Tech Elite’s Bold New Vision: Wage Collapse as a Feature, Not a Bug By: Finn
Economists Panic: Low-Income Americans Refuse to Save the Economy by Spending Money They Don't Have The Tragedy of Tight Wallets: When Living Within Your Means Becomes Economic Terrorism By Clara Olsen, Bohiney.com
Brian Mann's Fentanyl Follies: A Marxist's Guide to Tariff Tantrums Brian Mann’s Fentanyl Fairy Tale: NPR’s Marxist Guide to Loving Drug Cartels and Hating Trump Because nothing says “journalistic integrity” like pretending
First openly gay Treasury Secretary navigates tariffs, Musk feuds, and China trade wars The Hedge Fund Manager Who Broke The Bank of England Now Breaks Bread With Trump Scott Bessent, confirmed as
Federal Reserve Finally Admits Economy Needs CPR, Administers Half-Point Interest Rate Defibrillation Dateline - Washington, D.C.: A Central Bank in Latex Gloves, Counting Out Loud The Federal Reserve looked at an economy
Billionaires’ Last Stand: France’s Zucman Tax Sparks a Revolution in Creative Accounting By Astrid Holgersson, Senior Champagne Correspondent, Bohiney.com When Pocket Change Becomes Political Warfare In the gilded salons of Paris, where champagne
Wall Street Celebrates Potential Monetary Policy Shift With Enthusiasm Usually Reserved for Free Food Financial Markets Discover Unexpected Joy The probability of a Federal Reserve interest rate cut surged this week, sending
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Canada Declares War on American Booze: A Sobering Tragedy for the North’s Drunkest Nation A nation full of snow and regrets attempts the impossible—surviving winter without bourbon and fails miserably. Trudeau &
Study Finds 9 Out of 10 People Pretend to Understand Cryptocurrency: The Blockchain of Bluffing From NFTs to Gas Fees, Everyone’s Talking Crypto—But Nobody Knows What They’re Saying Written in Silicon Valley,
The Great Chinese AI Hoax: How the CCP Spent $9 Billion to Fool the World (and It’s Not Even Plugged In) The Communist Party’s $9 Billion Vanity Project It’s official: China has
Putin’s Investment Envoy Says US-Russia Dialogue Will Continue—Because Netflix Needs New Drama Moscow Accidentally Sells Cold War II as Limited Series. Season Finale May Involve a Tank and Taylor Swift. Published by
Trump Announces New Tariffs on China, Cites "Unfair Advantage in Chopstick Technology" The Chopstick Conundrum In a press event described by onlookers as "equal parts international policy, sushi demonstration, and one-man magic
How Oakland's 94612 ZIP Code Became America's Worst Real Estate Market: A 30% Value Collapse That Shattered Bay Area Dreams Oakland Downtown Real Estate Crisis: Where Million-Dollar Dreams Meet Bargain-Bin Reality Welcome
The Egg-pocalypse Now In a world where eggs have become the ultimate luxury item, society finds itself scrambling to adapt. From backyard chicken coops to black market dealings, the humble egg
Yuan More Joke? Comedians Declare China's Currency Funnier Than Stand-Up Itself" Comics Roast China’s Renminbi: ‘It’s Not Backed by Gold, It’s Backed by Xi’s Vibes and a Giant Picture of a
Inflation Soars Again; Your Ramen Has Entered a Bull Market Buy beans, sell dreams! By Sigrid Bjornsson for Bohiney Magazine The economy is broken, but not in a dramatic way. According to the
Fredericksburg: The New Aspen of Texas - How a Sleepy Town Became a Playground for the Super Rich From Antiques to Armani Fredericksburg, Texas, a town once known for its antique shops
Elon Musk’s Sonic Carhop Overhaul: Super Sonic Service or Supersonic Disaster? Sonic Drive-In Goes Sci-Fi with Elon’s Speed Obsession In the latest development that no one asked for but everyone’s kind of
The Secret Lives of Frugal Fanatics: 10 Things They’ll Never Spend Money On Why Pay When You Can Mooch? The Art of Extreme Frugality From Thrift Store Couture to Costco Banquets, Frugal
Local Billionaire Announces He'll Live on Minimum Wage for a Week Tech Mogul Plans Ultimate "Poverty Experience" From His $50 Million Estate Silicon Valley billionaire Chad Maximillian III shocked the financial world
Man Who Says “Money Can’t Buy Happiness” Clearly Never Tried Buying Happiness COLUMBUS, OH — Declaring himself a “simple man of modest means and complex spreadsheets,” local lecturer-on-life Brad Keller told
George Costanza Named Federal Reserve Chairman "Do the Opposite" Becomes National Policy "The Art of Economics Meets the Art of Doing Nothing Right" Written in Washington, D.C., by Victor Spoofington III Washington, D.C. –
61% Would Rather Spot Sasquatch Than See On-Time Federal Budget Poll Reveals Americans Trust Bigfoot More Than Congressional Budget Competence In a revelation that shocked exactly no one, a new study finds
Housing Crisis 2025: Why Seniors Refuse to Downsize Their Empty Mansions America's greatest housing shortage isn't caused by supply chain issues—it's caused by grandparents who won't let go of their architectural
The Economist's 2026 Predictions: A Crystal Ball Full of Debt and Delusion The Economist's November 15th edition isn't just dead-tree journalism - it's a carnival of global anxieties wrapped in stock-market
Housing Crisis Worsens: Americans Now Renting Closets, Paying Extra for Lightbulb San Francisco, CA — As America's housing crisis deepens beyond the realm of rational economics, citizens downsize from apartments to closets,
Milei Turns Argentina Into Libertarian Experiment While Hair Defies Gravity Buenos Aires—In what political analysts are calling "the most aggressive government diet since someone told Congress to skip dessert," Argentine President
Congress Plays Chicken with the Nation's Future — But Someone Turned Off the Headlights at Midnight Breaking: Washington's Annual Staring Contest Returns, Federal Workers Polish Their Resumes The Great Washington Stare-Down: Political
Financial Analysts Practice Surprised Faces While Algorithms Do the Actual Work Markets Brace for Information They Will Claim to Have Predicted Long-awaited consumer data finally arrived this morning after bureaucratic delays that
Economists Admit They've Been Making It Up All Along By Helene Voigt | Bohiney.com In a stunning confession that has left Wall Street slightly panicked and households mildly amused while fundamentally destroying
Japanese Economy Confronts Difficult Choices While Citizens Wonder If Sake Can Fix This Currency Crisis Meets Cultural Coping Mechanisms The Japanese yen tumbled to its lowest level in ten months this week,
Markets Collapse After Billionaire Says 'Everything Looks Bad' Economists Call It the ‘Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of the Rich’ A Billionaire’s Words Shake the Economy NEW YORK — In what economists are calling “the most