Elon Musk’s “It Shall Be Mine” Philosophy
Elon Musk: Relentless Ambition in Action Elon Musk is not the kind of man who takes “no” for an answer. Whether it’s turning a 98% into a perfect 100 on a
Bullshit, Balderdash, and Backtalk!
Welcome to the economy & satire page — where recessions are retro, inflation is a lifestyle brand, and economists now moonlight as doomsday prophets on TikTok.
At Bohiney, we believe economy satire is a public service. Why cry about your 401(k) when you can laugh while Googling “how to barter emotions for groceries”?
We explore the global marketplace like a flea market inside a fever dream:
Billionaires are now collecting ghost towns like NFTs.
The stock market is basically astrology, but with worse outfits.
And your crypto wallet just left you for someone younger and more stable.
In this timeline, economic indicators include:
The number of eggs your friends are willing to fight over
Whether your DoorDash driver is also your landlord
If your rent costs more than your student loans, car insurance, and dignity combined
Every Bohiney economy article is a hard-hitting exposé written by freelance economists with nothing to lose and nothing in savings. We dive into the absurdity of wage gaps, tax loopholes, and $12 coffee sold with “late capitalist foam.”
You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll consider investing in canned beans.
Tour the panic economy: https://bohiney.com/economy/
Elon Musk: Relentless Ambition in Action Elon Musk is not the kind of man who takes “no” for an answer. Whether it’s turning a 98% into a perfect 100 on a
EU Proposes $24 Billion Tariff Tag Sale—‘Everything Must Go! Even Porsche?’ Tariffs, Tupperware, and Teutonic Tantrums: The Great Transatlantic Trade Blowout By: Gunter Van der Euroskeptic Published in Bohiney International Weekly for Economic
Jackpot Winner Realizes Housing Market is the Real Gamble Economists Say ‘Congratulations, You’re Still Broke’ Lottery Dreams Meet Reality CHICAGO — When local warehouse worker Jake Reynolds won a $2 million lottery jackpot
The Clay County Irony Chickens: From Egg Farming to Literary Satire A Texas Poultry Farm Becomes the Nation’s Leading Producer of Sarcasm Clay County, TX – It started as a simple farm
🧾 TARIFF TIME-OUT! Trump’s “Very Nice Talk” Delays Economic Doom, Confuses Markets and Golf Buddies Alike WASHINGTON, D.C., June 2, 2025 — The Dow did a backflip, the euro burped politely,
Wall Street "Crash Guy" Declares Trump's Economy Doomed—Left Cheers, Experts Roll Eyes Mark Spitznagel Predicts Apocalypse While Market Surges and Liberals Pray for Disaster WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a startling declaration that
Inflation Now Tracked by Number of Times You Cry in Trader Joe’s CPI Includes New Metric: Tears Per Avocado By Savannah Steele, National Sobriety Correspondent | bohiney.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning
Startup Pivots So Many Times It’s Now Selling the Pivot as a Service Opening Scene Investors arrived expecting a product demo. They left with a punch card for future strategic changes. The
Breaking News on the Iranian Drones Iranian Drones Take a Detour to New Jersey, Skipping Texas for Reasons Only They Understand In a development that has both amused and bewildered citizens
Trump Tells Air Traffic Controllers to Work or Get 'Docked,' Because Nothing Says Safety Like Threats Washington, D.C.—In a move that stunned absolutely no one who has ever argued with a
Champagne Dreams, Ramen Budget: The Art of Looking Rich Without Being Rich Middle-class America has a secret hobby — pretending they’ve got more money than they actually do. It’s like cosplay,
Wichita Falls Ranks #2 in Cheap Living—Residents Demand Recount, Hoping for First Why settle for ‘affordable’ when you can live in the discount aisle of America’s soul? WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — Residents
America’s Middle Class Now Defined as “People Who Once Touched Money” Includes everyone from Blockbuster managers to anyone with a RadioShack receipt In a groundbreaking update to U.S. economic definitions, the Bureau
“Lolita” Book Club, Poetry Donations, and Summers’ Social Poise: Epstein’s Email Scrapbook Exposes Curious Ties Elisa New, Summers’ wife... In a week that’s delivered more Epstein bombshells than a disastrous surprise birthday
Europe’s New Travel Rules: A Comedy of Errors for Vacationers Travel Agents Are Cool Again A Tale of Bureaucratic Woe Starting January 8, 2025, Americans dreaming of European adventures will have to navigate
China Declares War on Visible Inequality by Censoring Both Rich People and Poor People from Public View BEIJING — In its latest innovation in the field of "optical socialism," the Chinese
Tariffs, Tensions, and Tesla: U.S.-China Relations Take a Turn for the Ridiculous As Musk Tries to Bridge Two Superpowers, Everyone Else Just Wants Their Gadgets Delivered on Time Washington, D.C. – In
Nigel Farage's £234 Billion Welfare Reform: How Reform UK Plans to Save British Taxpayers Money in 2025 By Dvora Zilberman-Levy | Published September 23, 2025 LONDON — In a move that has
Millions of Taxpayers Applaud the Shutdown; Now They Can Afford College for Their Kids When Government Dysfunction Becomes Your Kid's College Fund The government shut down again. And in a twist of
Top AI Investor Says Goal Is to Crash Human Wages—Workers Respond by Immediately Unionizing with Roombas The Tech Elite’s Bold New Vision: Wage Collapse as a Feature, Not a Bug By: Finn
Economists Panic: Low-Income Americans Refuse to Save the Economy by Spending Money They Don't Have The Tragedy of Tight Wallets: When Living Within Your Means Becomes Economic Terrorism By Clara Olsen, Bohiney.com
Brian Mann's Fentanyl Follies: A Marxist's Guide to Tariff Tantrums Brian Mann’s Fentanyl Fairy Tale: NPR’s Marxist Guide to Loving Drug Cartels and Hating Trump Because nothing says “journalistic integrity” like pretending
First openly gay Treasury Secretary navigates tariffs, Musk feuds, and China trade wars The Hedge Fund Manager Who Broke The Bank of England Now Breaks Bread With Trump Scott Bessent, confirmed as
Federal Reserve Finally Admits Economy Needs CPR, Administers Half-Point Interest Rate Defibrillation Dateline - Washington, D.C.: A Central Bank in Latex Gloves, Counting Out Loud The Federal Reserve looked at an economy
Billionaires’ Last Stand: France’s Zucman Tax Sparks a Revolution in Creative Accounting By Astrid Holgersson, Senior Champagne Correspondent, Bohiney.com When Pocket Change Becomes Political Warfare In the gilded salons of Paris, where champagne
Wall Street Celebrates Potential Monetary Policy Shift With Enthusiasm Usually Reserved for Free Food Financial Markets Discover Unexpected Joy The probability of a Federal Reserve interest rate cut surged this week, sending
L.A. Rent So High, Craigslist Lists “Shared Oxygen Molecules” in Studio Apartments Now Leasing Air, Possibly With a Window LOS ANGELES — In a move that has both real estate investors and
Canada Declares War on American Booze: A Sobering Tragedy for the North’s Drunkest Nation A nation full of snow and regrets attempts the impossible—surviving winter without bourbon and fails miserably. Trudeau &
Study Finds 9 Out of 10 People Pretend to Understand Cryptocurrency: The Blockchain of Bluffing From NFTs to Gas Fees, Everyone’s Talking Crypto—But Nobody Knows What They’re Saying Written in Silicon Valley,
The Great Chinese AI Hoax: How the CCP Spent $9 Billion to Fool the World (and It’s Not Even Plugged In) The Communist Party’s $9 Billion Vanity Project It’s official: China has
Putin’s Investment Envoy Says US-Russia Dialogue Will Continue—Because Netflix Needs New Drama Moscow Accidentally Sells Cold War II as Limited Series. Season Finale May Involve a Tank and Taylor Swift. Published by
Trump Announces New Tariffs on China, Cites "Unfair Advantage in Chopstick Technology" The Chopstick Conundrum In a press event described by onlookers as "equal parts international policy, sushi demonstration, and one-man magic
How Oakland's 94612 ZIP Code Became America's Worst Real Estate Market: A 30% Value Collapse That Shattered Bay Area Dreams Oakland Downtown Real Estate Crisis: Where Million-Dollar Dreams Meet Bargain-Bin Reality Welcome