The STOCK Act: Swiss Cheese for Legislators -- Congress Insider Trading  The STOCK Act of 2012 was supposed to put an end to insider trading by members of Congress. It was

The Sharpie Shortage: How Trump's Penmanship Policies Inked a National Crisis Executive Orders in Permanent Marker: The Unforeseen Consequences of Presidential Signatures In a world where the pen is mightier than the

Trump to Meet NYC's Mayor-Elect — He Promises to Bring His Best Dad Jokes (and Possibly Deportation Ideas) Former President Trump has announced plans to meet with New York City's mayor-elect

The Tyler Robinson Method of Discourse Charlie Kirk Discovers There's No Safe Space From Stupidity You know what Jerry Seinfeld always said about hecklers? "What's the deal with people who interrupt comedy

Marx, Lenin, and Mao Are Taking Over the Playground, and Capitalists Are Crying Into Their Trust Funds The Rise of Baby Marxists: America’s Playgrounds Turn Into Worker Uprisings By Ima Red-Diaper, Bohiney

Kamala’s Bold Black Dress: Political Power Move or Fashion Faux Pas?! Did Kamala Wear Black to Blend In, Stand Out, or Just Make Everyone Wonder Her True Race?! Chicago, IL -- The Democratic

When Foreign Aid Hits the Newsroom: USAID's Unconventional Media Outreach From Disaster Relief to Deadline Support: The USAID-Media Connection In a plot twist that even the most imaginative satirist couldn't concoct, the

Anonymous Sources Admit They’re Made Up, Confirming Everything We’ve Always Suspected By Anonymous (because that’s how we do it now) In a revelation that raises eyebrows and lowers journalistic credibility, insiders at

Trump and Hegseth Transform Pentagon into "Department of War" with Mandatory Shaving Policy Marine Corps Base Quantico, VA — In a surprise military assembly that combined the drama of a reality

Drug Addled Foo Fighters FORGOT They Licensed 'My Hero' to Trump – You Won't Believe What Happened Next!  When drug addled rock legends meet political shenanigans, the outcome is more surreal

ICE Officer Who Pushed Ecuadorian Woman to the Ground Receives $1 Million from Anonymous Billionaire, Sparks Political Firestorm When Law Enforcement Meets Million-Dollar Philanthropy Democrats and Marxists Respond With Caffeinated Fury In a

Breaking News: Kamala Harris Denies Ever Being Vice President Claims She Doesn’t Even Know Joe Biden Washington D.C. --  In a startling development that has left the political world in utter disbelief,

TRUMP VISITS THE RACE EXHIBIT AT THE SMITHSONIAN, ASKS IF HE CAN TOUCH THE WHITE ONE Notion of Race as a Social Construct “If race is just a social construct, can I

Donald J. Trump is at it again, proving once and for all that he’s got the biggest, boldest, and most patriotic pen in presidential history. In a move that sent

Trump Doctrine Gaza Resort 2036: How War Became Waterfront By Annika Steinmann — Bohiney Magazine Trump Doctrine is a New Kind of Occupation It’s 2036. Gaza, once shorthand for siege, rubble, and nightly

Trump Fires Snobby Arts Commission That Tried to Block Most Beautiful Ballroom in Human History Draining the Swamp, One Pretentious Bureaucrat at a Time October 29, 2025 In a move that sent shockwaves

Trump Imposes 25% Tariff on Satire, Declares The Onion a National Treasure Protecting America’s Funniest Resources In a move that has left economists, comedians, and late-night talk show hosts equally confused, former

Donald J Trump named to the Top 10 "Weird" Political Leaders in History World History - Top 10 "Weird" Political Leaders in History 1. Peter the Great Peter the Great, Tsar of Russia

Paranormal Politics: New Poll Shows 2024 DNC Delegates in Chicago Believe in Ghosts, Aliens, and a Few Things Even Stranger! George Noory's Late-Night Radio Show Blamed for Surging Belief in the

BBC vs. Trump: Battle Hits Peak Timing—Because Nothing Says Drama Like International Feuds London/Washington, D.C.—The BBC's ongoing struggle with Donald Trump couldn't have come at a worse time, sources report, mainly

Luigi Mangione’s Manhattan Trial: Beige Jumpsuits, Bureaucracy, and the High Drama of Justice If you thought Manhattan had seen it all, think again. Luigi Mangione, 27, the man accused of assassinating

The Manosphere Is the Mainstream: How the Internet’s Most Polarizing Subculture Took Over Society A Digital Fringe Goes Full Throttle By: Buckley "Red Pill" McBroseph, Senior Alpha Correspondent What was once a loose

Snackmates in Paradise How Bettina Anderson Is Revolutionizing Trump Family Meals By Justine Crumbs, Snack Correspondent Extraordinaire When Donald Trump Jr. introduced his new girlfriend Bettina Anderson, political pundits speculated about the usual:

Taylor Swift’s Psyche Hijacked by MAGA Wedding Conspiracy, Sources Say By Astrid Holgersson – Bohiney.com News Service Taylor Swift, the pop sensation known for her heartbreak anthems and relentless TikTok stalking of

California's July 2025 Laws Take a Weird Turn: Bureaucrats Add Vibes, AI Babies, and Subscription Minotaurs By Astrid Holgersson, Staff Satirist Published at bohiney.com: Certified 127% Funnier Than The Onion SACRAMENTO — Starting

Make America Frisky Again: An Exploration of Modern Romance In the age of Zoom meetings, virtual dates have become the norm... In a world where swiping right has become the new "hello"

The Best 20 Coach Walz Jokes Equal Play Time: "Why did Coach Walz make every player run the same distance? Because in his world, even the benchwarmers deserve a fair

BREAKING: Congress Passes Bill Requiring All Politicians to Actually Read Bills Before Voting A Monumental Leap for Legislative Literacy? In a move that shocked exactly no one, Congress has passed a historic

Proof of Citizenship Required for Proof of Citizenship "Because if you're not sure you're a citizen, we aren't either!" Washington, DC -- In a stunning decision that has left the nation scratching

Trump Demands Microsoft Fire Lawyer — Because Comey Isn't Getting Enough Drama Bedminster, NJ — Former President Donald Trump demanded Microsoft immediately terminate one of its corporate lawyers, not because the lawyer

RFK Jr. Drops Out of the 2024 Race, Endorses Trump Conspiracies, Cows, and the Curious Political Marriage Cape Cod, Massachusetts -- In what can only be described as the political equivalent of

'Sit Down, Karl Marx!': Rep. Victoria Spartz Silences Town Hall Marxists with 15 Glorious One-Liners and Exactly Zero Patience In what began as a routine Indiana town hall and ended as

Trump White House Demands Apology After Jeffries Calls for Democrats to ‘Fornicate in the Streets’ Reporters Scramble to Interpret Whether This Is a Political Rally or an HBO Special By: Buckley "Truth