Captain Newsom leads California's most surreal Halloween parade yet Governor Gavin Newsom of California turned Halloween 2025 into an agricultural spectacle, appearing as "Strawberry Field General." Clad in strawberry-themed regalia and

McConnell fully embodies his infamous nickname for Halloween Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell leaned into his nickname by appearing as a giant turtle for Halloween. With a realistic shell and somnolent

The Future of NFL and Netflix: A Brainstorming Session Like No Other Netflix, the streaming behemoth that once revolutionized how we watch movies and TV shows, has now set its sights

JD Vance attempts to meme himself into Halloween relevance and fails spectacularly Halloween 2025 witnessed JD Vance spiraling into meme oblivion with his "Babyface Vance" costume. Complete with synthetic baby cheeks

Editor-in-chief Filipkowski conjures chaos for Halloween Ron Filipkowski appeared as a "Troll Wizard," wielding the mighty staff of social media, casting spells of ridicule upon hapless observers. Eyewitnesses described him chanting

Senator Cruz bites into Halloween tradition, awkwardly Senator Ted Cruz chose the perplexing "Sunlit Vampire" costume, showing up in broad daylight to a local candy event. Eyewitnesses were bewildered as Cruz

Nikki Haley haunts Halloween as the undead diplomat Former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley appeared as a "Diplomatic Zombie," complete with a decaying blazer and faux Security Council resolutions. Eyewitnesses reported her

Rep. Greene embraces literal Halloween horror Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene went literal with her "MAGA Skeleton" costume, complete with a red hat atop a skeletal head. Eyewitnesses noted the unnerving accuracy

Rep. Cheney haunts Halloween with principle and spooky symbolism Rep. Liz Cheney embraced the supernatural, appearing as the "Ghost of Integrity Past," clad in a flowing white sheet emblazoned with words

Rep. AOC turns Halloween into a climate apocalypse pageant Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez arrived at a community Halloween event dressed as "Climate Apocalypse Barbie," complete with a melting ice cream cone purse

Former president haunts Halloween with absurdity Donald Trump appeared as the "Lincoln Bathroom Ghost," wearing a commode-shaped hat and golden hair wig. Eyewitnesses reported fainting and spontaneous applause, proving the effectiveness

Florida Governor goes full "Gator Wrangler" for Halloween Governor Ron DeSantis embraced Florida man lore this Halloween, showing up as the "Alligator Wrangler," complete with a sheriff's hat labeled "Free Speech

President Biden wanders Halloween through decades and metaphors President Joe Biden showed up as "Grandpa Time Traveler," complete with aviator glasses, a 1960s lunchbox, and mutterings of "Back in my day…"

Haunted House Workers Strike Over “Unpaid Screams” and “Toxic Ectoplasm Exposure” In a Halloween labor uprising that has terrified management nationwide, haunted house workers across America have walked off the job,

Pumpkin Spice Declared Emotional Support Flavor by Surgeon General The Official Latte Declaration: Pumpkin Spice is Now Therapeutic October 14 — In an announcement that has left Starbucks stock executives trembling like

Politicians Gone Wild: The Top 12 Costumes That Shook Halloween 2025 Halloween 2025 will be remembered not for candy, haunted houses, or that one kid dressed as a surprisingly realistic hot

Trick-or-Treaters Demand Reparations for Decade of “Fun-Size” Lies Candy Crisis Hits a Sweet Low October 28 — Across the nation, costumed children have risen up against what they call the “Fun-Size Deception”

💔 Report: 87% of Couples in Matching Costumes Still in Denial About Breakup Imminence A new study has confirmed what bartenders, therapists, and cynical singles have long suspected: wearing matching Halloween

🧟 Zombie Economy Stronger Than Ever, Says Federal Reserve Chair “Braaaains” Powell In his most animated press conference yet, Federal Reserve Chair Jerome “Braaaains” Powell announced that the U.S. economy is

Vampire Opens Vegan Blood Bar, Says “Consent Is Sexy” Nosferatu Goes Non-Dairy October 25 — In a bold rebrand for the undead, 513-year-old vampire Count Damien von Gory has opened Hemoglow, the

Ghosts File Class-Action Lawsuit Against Psychics for “Unauthorized Summoning” Paranormal Plaintiffs Say “Enough Is Enough” October 20 — The afterlife is in upheaval this Halloween as hundreds of ghosts have filed a

Nation’s Skeletons Demand Union Recognition After Being Dragged Out of Closets Every October Skeletons Strike Back: The Hollow Revolt of October October 26 — In a development no one saw coming (because

Small Town Declares Emergency After Inflatable Spider Becomes Self-Aware Residents of Maple Hollow, Wisconsin, awoke Monday to find their town square in chaos — not from politics or potholes this time,