Mamdani Declares War on Empty Mansions, Common Sense Reports Collateral Damage New York's latest tax proposal targets the ultra-rich with the precision of a heat-seeking invoice, and the economic logic of

Allbirds Becoming an “AI Compute Provider” WICHITA FALLS, TX — In a move that has stunned absolutely no one who has been paying attention to corporate America's collective mental breakdown, the

Fifteen Observations on Live Nation's "Totally Normal" Ticket Empire The Concert Was Great, the Mortgage Application for Tickets Was Even Better People used to buy tickets. Now they apply for them like

The Internet Was Held Together by Duct Tape, Vibes, and One Guy Named Greg Turns out the most important piece of critical digital infrastructure on the planet wasn't fiber optic cable

OpenAI Opens London Office, Leaves £31 Billion "Stargate" Project in the Pub Bathroom Five Things Noticed Immediately by People Who Were Trying to Mind Their Own Business Londoners have accepted that

New York Leaders Solve $5.4 Billion Budget Gap by Yelling at Each Other Until Numbers Get Scared Mamdani and City Council Enter Cage Match Over Budget — Winner Gets to Blame

America's Cybersecurity Strategy Is Also Just Hoping for the Best Somewhere in a secure government lab, beneath several layers of encryption and at least one vending machine that hasn't worked since

France Cuts Back on Microsoft Windows, Declares 'Ctrl+Alt+Déjà Vu' Too Expensive Socialist Budget Crisis Forces Nation to Upgrade to the 'Free Version of Everything' PARIS — In a historic act of fiscal

AI Finally Replaces Programmers, Immediately Requests Programmers to Fix Its Work Five observations emerged from the irony like bugs from a fresh deploy. Replacement is temporary. Automation still needs supervision. The

Tech Firm Celebrates AI Productivity Boost, Quietly Hires 400 People to Undo It Five observations drifted through the celebration like confetti made of regret. Productivity increases are only impressive until you

Corporate America Achieves Peak Efficiency by Generating Problems Faster Than Humans Can Panic Five observations emerged from the chaos like poorly documented features. Efficiency now means speed, not direction. Problems are

AI Writes 10 Million Lines of Code, Company Realizes No One Knows What Any of It Does Five humorous observations hovered over the morning stand-up like a fog nobody wanted to

Engineers Promoted to Full-Time Babysitters of Confused Robot Intern Five observations circled the office like unattended drones. Promotions now involve less authority and more supervision. The intern never learns but always

Energy Markets Plunge Into Chaos After Realizing Negotiations Were Mostly Bullshit Global energy markets took a dramatic nosedive this week after investors made a shocking discovery: the 21-hour U.S.-Iran negotiations in

Man Throws Molotov Cocktail at Sam Altman's Home, Discovers AI Still Not Replaced Human Bad Decisions Silicon Valley Finally Achieves Fire-Based Innovation — Just Not the Kind Investors Meant In what analysts

H-1B Lottery Rebranded as "Buy 50 Tickets, Pray for One Employee" By the Bohiney.com Statistical Anomaly Desk Random Selection, Strategically Gamed The H-1B visa lottery is, by legal design, a random system. By

Strait of Hormuz Becomes World's Most Expensive "Closed for Maintenance" Sign Khasab Residents Confirm War Feels Like Living Next to a Very Loud, Very Angry Shipping Lane From the scenic cliffs of

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Reportedly Discover Privacy Is Hard When You Keep Reporting About It Somewhere between Montecito brunch and a Netflix brainstorming session, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have

Consulting Firm Wins Innovation Award for Hiring Same Person 37 Times By the Bohiney.com Center for Recursive Employment Studies The HR Innovation Nobody Asked For Somewhere in a glass-walled conference room, a staffing

Tech Firm Opens New Office in Empty Apartment, Calls It "Flexible Workspace Initiative" By the Bohiney.com Real Estate and Regulatory Confusion Correspondent The Office That Exists Only in Spirit — and Occasionally

15 Observations From the Valley of Very Concerned Geniuses 🤖 Sam Altman: Sociopath People in Silicon Valley now diagnose each other the way medieval villagers diagnosed witches, except instead of ducks,

H-1B Workers Asked to Wait Patiently for Paychecks, Enlightenment, and Wi-Fi By the Bohiney.com Bureau of Deferred Compensation and Spiritual Development The Training Program That Teaches Patience New H-1B hires at certain forward-thinking

Government Cracks Down on Fraud, Companies Respond by Renaming Fraud "Process Optimization" By the Bohiney.com Linguistic Innovation and Regulatory Evasion Desk The Nomenclature of Not Getting Caught There is a well-established corporate tradition,

Billionaires Reinvent Missile Defense With Lawn Equipment, Elastic Bands, and One Guy's Very Confident Roomba Somewhere between a $3 million interceptor missile and a $12 lawn chair from a gas station, ten of

H-1B Program Enters Phase Two: Everyone Knows What's Happening, No One Knows Who's in Charge By the Bohiney.com Office of Institutional Accountability (Currently Between Assignments) Phase One Was Fraud. Phase Two Is

Britain Solves Energy Crisis by Deciding Not to Use the Energy It Already Has There's something almost poetic about a nation sitting atop oil and saying, "No thanks, we'll take vibes

Companies Demand Top Talent, Accidentally Invent Entirely Imaginary Candidates By the Bohiney.com Department of Speculative Human Resources The Job Description Written by Imagination The modern H-1B job posting is a work of speculative

Corporate America Discovers New Talent Pool: People Who Can't Quit By the Bohiney.com Bureau of Workforce Absurdity The Talent That Was Here All Along — Trapped Corporate America has made a stunning breakthrough

America Discovers You Can Outsmart AI by Asking It How You'll Mess Everything Up First Five Observations Before We Ruin Everything Anyway People now trust AI more when it assumes they're

US Solves Middle East, Europe Checks Price of Oil, Everyone Pretends This Wasn't the Plan All Along Five Quick Observations Before the Missiles Finish Warming Up America says "limited strikes," which in

Meghan Markle Accidentally Invents New Netflix Genre: "Prestige Losses" Hollywood Experts Confirm Millions Missing, Possibly Hiding Under Decorative Throw Pillows There are flops… and then there are "lifestyle-driven, artisanal, Montecito-adjacent financial experiences." According to Page

AI Now Writes Like You, Which Explains Why You Sound Like a Customer Service Email Five Observations Before the Machines Finish This Sentence Humans spent 10,000 years developing language just to

Bezos Announces $100 Billion AI Plan, Immediately Runs Out of Things Left to Buy Except Reality Itself Five Observations Before the Robots Invoice Us $100 billion for AI manufacturing. For context, that's