Mark Twain's Immortal Wisdom Meets Modern Left-Wing Politics Here we go — a gleeful, snark-seasoned satirical riff on Mark Twain's immortal wisdom: "Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their

Student Visas Meet Reality: When Campus Activism Collides With Immigration Law This piece responds to documents unsealed by a federal judge on January 22, 2026, revealing that Secretary of State Marco Rubio

The Great Hall Pass Delusion: When Study Abroad Programs Meet American Immigration Reality A Satirical Examination of Temporary Visas and Permanent Misconceptions 🇺🇸 This analysis examines recently unsealed federal documents showing that Secretary

Are We All Plagiarists Now, Or Just Very Efficient Readers? The Golden Age of Borrowing Without Eye Contact There was a time when plagiarism involved effort. You had to sneak into a

The Curious Case of Fernando Mendoza and the Art of Self-Sabotage Indiana quarterback Fernando Mendoza, fresh off leading the Hoosiers to their first-ever College Football Playoff national championship and winning the Heisman Trophy, found

Gen Z Can't Read but They "Totally" Understand Memes In a story so perfectly ironic it practically wrote itself, Gen Z students are arriving at college unable to read full sentences

Teen Digital Escape Artists: How Generation Z Turned Facebook Bans Into a Game of Whack-a-Mole Australia's Social Media Crackdown Meets the Internet's Most Creative Workaround Experts When Australia announced its under-16 social media

College Essays, Now Written Entirely in a Whisper There was a time when a college admissions essay was a bold declaration of self. A young person stood on the page, chest out, saying,

Nordic Nation Teaches Four-Year-Olds Media Literacy While Grown-Ups Believe Headlines Ending in Three Exclamation Points Finland Trains Preschoolers to Spot Fake News While Adults Continue Sharing It on Facebook Bohiney.com has confirmed

Brown University Police Chief Placed on Leave After Discovering Thoughts and Prayers Are Not a Crowd-Control Strategy Administrative Action Follows Campus Security Response Failure Brown University placed its police chief on administrative

Elite University Responds to Mass Shooting With Time-Honored Academic Tradition: Administrative Leave Institution Deploys Classic Crisis Management Strategy In response to a mass shooting, an elite university reached deep into its institutional

Brown University Police Chief Placed on Leave as Institution Searches for Correct Tone Tragedy Followed by Committees, Statements, and Strategic Silence Brown University placed its police chief on leave this week following

College Is Dead, Long Live College: The Great Liberal Arts Meltdown In a plot twist that absolutely no one saw coming — except everyone over the age of 35 who's been

Brown University President's Press Conference or Improvisational Theater? Imagine the director's cut of a crisis press briefing. Lights up. A mass shooting just happened at Brown University's engineering building where students

Paige Shiver's Secret Jobs at Michigan: What's She Really Doing After the Sherrone Moore Scandal? Here's the satirical take you asked for on what jobs Paige Shiver could possibly be doing

Michigan's Bold New HR Policy: Fire Everyone Who Slept at Work Michigan football finally solved workplace ethics the same way toddlers solve arguments over toys. Nobody gets the toy. Everybody goes to

The University of Texas: Where the Curriculum Was Free But Now the Professors Aren't Picture a university where faculty genuinely believe "academic freedom" means you can teach actual academics, not just

ChatGPT: The Study Buddy That Never Asks for Your Notes Back Universities Finally Find Perfect Solution to Academic Integrity: Embrace the Cheating In a revolutionary development that has professors worldwide clutching their

Study Finds Overanalyzing Studies is the New National Pastime Researchers Admit: Even This Study Might Be Overanalyzed Cambridge, MA — In a groundbreaking revelation that has left the academic world reeling, a

Trump Revokes Chinese Student Visas, Cites “Too Much Math, Not Enough Freedom” The Algorithm Is Coming From Inside the Dorm In a surprise press briefing conducted in front of a whiteboard labeled

You’ve Never Finished These 7 Books—Congratulations, You’re Finally Honest By Alan Nafzger, Bohiney.com Somewhere right now, a grad student is underlining a paragraph in Ulysses they don’t understand, a lawyer is name-dropping

Harvard Must Be Humbled Transcript from “Live Not By Lies—Not Even Ivy-Covered Ones” Delivered by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (channeled by AI) Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn -- Delivered at Harvard University, 2025 — to the graduates, faculty,

MSU Students Think Outside the Box and Redesign NASA Spacesuits… with Velcro and Hopes How MSU Plans to Make NASA More Stylish and Functional (Mostly Stylish) Move over Elon Musk and NASA’s

Trump Declares “Harvard for Americans” Policy, Adds Hotdog Bar to Café CAMBRIDGE, MA — Former President Donald Trump announced today that he has “unofficially but spiritually” acquired Harvard University and is

Texas A&M Professor Fired Over Gender Identity Discussion: The Complete Controversy Breakdown A satirical examination of academic freedom, student activism, and the viral video that toppled a university administration Meta Description: Texas

Harvard Terror Camp Scandal Rocks Elite Academia, Trump Declares “Academic Jihad Emergency” By Rhonda Liberté | National Absurdity Correspondent | July 21, 2025 BOSTON — In a federal courtroom that smelled faintly

Study Confirms: Americans Have Grown 0.8% Dumber Every Year Since WWII—And We Have the Proof Experts have long suspected that Americans are getting dumber, but now we have hard data: IQs

Marxist Teacher Arrested: Red Pen Seized as Communist Evidence Local educator detained for "ideological overreach" after grading papers with surplus value theory Breaking: Teacher Arrested for Ideological Overreach SPRINGFIELD — In what authorities

Texas A&M Confirms Gravity Course Not Required for Freshmen After 17-Story Physics Demonstration Goes Horribly Wrong AUSTIN, TX — In a stunning admission that has rocked the academic world, Texas A&M University officials

Sudanese Radical Applies to Harvard, Brings Goats, Wisdom, and Kisra in Tupperware CAMBRIDGE, MA — Harvard University, long known for its centuries of exclusion and recent years of overcorrection, has received

Eusexua Takes Over Electra, Texas The Town That Danced Its Way to Enlightenment Electra, TX – The people of Electra, a tiny Texas town best known for cattle ranching, oil wells, and

When College Learned to Copy-Paste: AI Exposes Higher Education's Dirty Secret Here we go — a little comedy roast of higher-ed, in honor of Steven Mintz (and by extension, every overworked

Fitted Sheets -- The Elastic Corners Are Nature’s Revenge Fitted Sheets:  A Tangle That Defies Logic By Lin En Closet, Domestic Mysteries Correspondent ST. PAUL, MN—In a revelation that shocked absolutely no one,