15 Observations About Wayback Machine Hitting One Trillion Archived Pages The Wayback Machine is basically the internet hoarder that never throws anything away — it preserves every embarrassing blog post, half-baked startup

Twelve Angry Nerds and a Two Billionaires: Musk v. Altman The Musk v. Altman Courtroom Drama That Proves AI Stands for ‘Absolute Insanity’ By Bohiney Magazine – Certified 127% Funnier Than The

Modern Life is a Dopamine Junkie’s Paradise, and Dr. Anna Lembke is Terrified The New Epidemic: People Can’t Stop Enjoying Themselves (And That’s the Problem) Silicon Valley has finally done it. They’ve

Freud’s Statue Removed, Replaced With ChatGPT Kiosk That Dispenses Coping Mechanisms By SpinTaxi’s Psychoanalysis Correspondent and Trauma Vending Machine Inspector Vienna, Austria — In a move that has sent shockwaves through the

Tech Giants Declare They Only Want to Help You, Sincerely By Chloe Summers | Bohiney.com In a stunning announcement that shook the very foundations of cynicism worldwide, all major tech companies collectively

Gen Z Uses AI to Flood Courts with Frivolous Lawsuits Against Trump AI-Powered Legal Shenanigans Leave Courts Scrambling Move over, professional lawyers—Gen Z has entered the legal chat, armed with AI and

Tech Billionaire Buys Entire Town, Converts Streets Into Data Centers By Junglepussy & Heidi Ladein According to Bohiney News reporters, a single tech billionaire has purchased the entire town of Pleasantville, citing

iPhone Air So Thin, Apple Recommends Buying Two So You Can Actually See One Apple's latest innovation proves that sometimes less really is... well, literally less Apple's Revolutionary Disappearing Act In what company

How to Escape Your Internet Echo Chamber: A Satirical Self-Help Guide Once upon a time in the vast, wild lands of the Internet, there lived a savvy netizen named Alex. Alex,

America Logs On: Nation Officially Declares Tweets Funnier Than Church, Therapy, and Stand-Up Comedy By: Lucinda Barkwit, Associate Editor of Emoji Ethics & Digital Sarcasm, Bohiney Magazine May 30, 2025 — Everywhere

Meta Announces 'Brain-to-Meta' Interface; Users Accidentally Share Thoughts About Lunch Meta has unveiled its latest innovation: the "Brain-to-Meta" interface, designed to let users transmit thoughts directly to the social network. Early

EU Declares War on AI: A Comprehensive Ban on Everything Fun and Futuristic By: Chip McClickbait, Senior AI Bureaucracy Correspondent In a move that has left technophiles and sci-fi enthusiasts clutching their

Superintelligent and Super Dumb When Your Robot Understands Quantum Gravity but Can’t Explain Why It Likes Ducks By the Bohiney Magazine Staff: Where Humor Is 127% More Accurate Than the Singularity Welcome to

For Just $6,000, You Too Can Own a 3-Year-Old Who Won’t Bite Strangers China’s Unitree R1 Robot Sparks Existential Crisis Among Toddlers and Parents Who’ve Been Duped by Biology SHANGHAI— In a

Area Man Bravely Refuses to Update Phone Until It Achieves Sentience By Clarisse Fontaine, Senior Personal Tech Inertia Correspondent TOPEKA, KS — In a bold stand against software progress, area resident Dale

The Man, the Salt, and the Chatbot: America’s First Case of AI-Induced Bromism by Elinor Jørgensen, contributing for the National Bureau of Tragic Tech Triumphs CLARKSVILLE, USA — It began, like all

Humanity Cancels Its Retirement: New AI Apocalypse Book Declares "Everyone Dies, No Refunds" By Chloe Summers | Bohiney.com Investigations Desk AI Apocalypse Book Review: Why Eliezer Yudkowsky Thinks We're All Doomed Book launches

The Billionaire Bidding War for Braincells: Meta’s $1.25 Billion Manhunt Ends in Ghosting By Special Arrangement for bohiney.com — Certified 127% More Satirical Than Your LinkedIn Inbox PALO ALTO, CA — In

The Dire Consequences of Government Meddling in Tech Design: Apple's Plight A Tale of Tech, Government, and Unintended Comedy Cupertino, CA -- The Justice Department and 16 state attorneys general filed an

ChatGPT Psychosis Sweeps Nation: Users Commit Themselves, Jail Themselves, Crown Themselves Prophets By Staff at SpinTaxi News, certified 127% more clairvoyant than your therapy chatbot Dateline: Palo Alto, CA — A new

The Higher Education Olympics in Paris: An Academic Circus The Administrator’s Obstacle Course and Adjunct Agony: Surviving the Higher Ed Gauntlet The Opening Ceremony: A Parade of Prestigious Egos Ah, Paris! The city

When CEOs Wear AI Like Sunglasses at Night How Corporate Leaders Turn Artificial Intelligence Into Executive Theater It was 2:47 p.m. in the boardroom of Globex Corp., and the CEO—let's call her

Top AI Investor Says Goal Is to Crash Human Wages—Workers Respond by Immediately Unionizing with Roombas The Tech Elite’s Bold New Vision: Wage Collapse as a Feature, Not a Bug By: Finn

Teens Are Outsmarting Teachers with ChatGPT, and Honestly, It’s Hilarious The Ultimate Homework Hack: AI to the Rescue Teens have officially found a way to do schoolwork without actually doing schoolwork. Enter

EXCLUSIVE: The Wall Street Journal Interviews Hawk Tuah Girl “I Hawk’d, I Tuah’d, and America Invested in My Throat Coin” By the WSJ’s Least Appropriate Correspondent Setting:A corner booth in a Hooters off

Hawk Tuah Girl: From a Frisky Fantasy to a Romantic Sahara Hawk Tuah Girl—once synonymous with wild nights, endless flirtations, and a carefree attitude—now finds herself in the arid depths of

When You Realize "We All Might Need to Move to Space Someday" is Just Code for "Earth Is a Dumpster Fire" It seems the cosmos is pulling out all the stops

DEEPSEEK and Destroy: How China Bankrupted Itself Trying to Eavesdrop on Chad from Omaha Filed from the surveillance-proof barn office at Bohiney.com, where even the AI has a mullet. China's $40 Billion

Neuralink Promises Superhuman Powers—Just Don’t Forget to Reboot Your Brain Every Tuesday Neuralink says you can play video games with your mind—because using thumbs was just too exhausting. By Spintaxi Staff Satirist

By Buck McAfee, Bohiney.com’s Official Tech Cowboy In Texas, we don't do cybersecurity the way California does—with committees, press releases, and a $10 billion budget that goes entirely to consultants. No,

Elon Musk’s Brain Is Full of 1970s Media and Technology How One Man’s Mind Became a Sci-Fi Storage Unit with a Billionaire Budget By Cyborg McMoneybags, bohiney.com Elon Musk is not a man.

The $500 Billion Stargate: Trump, Musk, and AI’s Great Space-Time Swindle A Deal So Big, Even Elon Musk Thinks It's a Scam When Elon Musk, the man who once sold flamethrowers for

Study Finds That People Who Say 'I'm Not a Robot' Might Actually Be Robots By Poppy Tech-Fantastic | Cyberville  In a groundbreaking study that has the world questioning the very nature of