Democrats Bet on Monkeypox for 2024: Mail-In Ballots and Drop Boxes to the Rescue! (Again) Democrats Bet on Monkeypox for 2024: Why Debate When You Can Mail It In? Washington, D.C. –

Climate Change: Global Warming Says ‘Don’t Sweat It’ as the World Reaches for Sunscreen! Miami, FL — In a world where the weather forecast feels more like a warning than a

Mossad Denies Epstein Tapes Exist, Accidentally Leaks 42 TB of HD Blackmail Footage By Bohiney Magazine's Human Intelligence Division – Written by the world’s oldest tenured philosophy professor and a dairy

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Sue Los Angeles Over Fire Damage, Demand "Reality TV Justice" Because the hills weren’t the only thing that burned down By Biff Malarkey, Bohiney.com Senior Legal Drama

Gavin Newsom Empties California Mental Institutions for “Destroy Tesla Tuesday” An Exclusive Report from Bohiney’s Only Reporter to Wear a Straightjacket Voluntarily California Declares Open Season on Teslas SACRAMENTO – In a move

Government’s Bold Move: Tax Credits for Staying Offline—Finally, a Reward for Disconnecting! "Unplug and save! How going off the grid could boost your bank account." In a move that has left both

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky The EU, USAID, and the Ironic World of Political Funding In a move that seems to blur the lines between candid confession and surreal self-parody, Ukrainian President Volodymyr

Empathy Overload: When Caring Too Much Becomes a National Crisis Experts Warn: Stop Feeling and Start Ignoring! In breaking news, empathy—once hailed as a hallmark of human decency—has officially been declared a

The Ultimate Showdown: Marcos vs. Duterte in the Political Cage Match of the Century The Tale of Two Dynasties In the vibrant archipelago of the Philippines, where jeepneys color the streets and

The Perpetual War Machine: Why Peace Is Bad for Business WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what can only be described as the most patriotic display of capitalism since the invention of war

Trump Wins the Nobel Pizza Prize: Peace-Pizza Lands in Milan Dateline: Milan, Italy — A Saucy Accord, Hold the Anchovies Nobel Pizza Prize On a bright Lombardy morning, Air Force One touched down

HuffPost’s Guide to Clickbait Journalism: How to Weaponize ‘Truly Bizarre’ for Maximum Outrage From Marxist Café to 'Bizarre' Headline Factories – A Deep Dive into the HuffPost Playbook New York – A

The Intergalactic Infatuation of Elon Musk A Love Story Beyond the Stars Los Angeles, California – The City of Stars and Beyond In an unexpected twist that has caught the attention of both

Sheryl Crow's "Psychedelic" Tesla Farewell: Trading Electric Dreams for Gasoline Nightmares In a move that has left both fans and critics scratching their heads, singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow recently announced the sale

Trump Wants Bagram Back—Says He Left His Favorite Golf Clubs There By Heidi Ladein | bohiney.com | September 21, 2025 Former President Threatens Military Action Over Missing Titanium Driver Trump Wants Bagram Back

Billy Ray Cyrus' Inauguration Performance Drama: Drunk, Pissed Off, or Just High on MAGA? A Star-Spangled Train Wreck By Lurleen McGossip, Senior Chaos Correspondent At Donald Trump’s Liberty Ball during his second presidential

CDC Discovers Germs Exist After 75 Years — Announces Major Revisions to Health Recommendations Federal Health Agency Realizes Microscopic Organisms May Be Connected to Disease After Decades of Alternative Theories ATLANTA —

People’s Bagel Co-op Collapses After Workers Seize the Cream Cheese Founded with high hopes and higher cholesterol, the People’s Bagel Co-op in Brooklyn came crashing down Tuesday after a faction of

Trump Tells Air Traffic Controllers to Work or Get 'Docked,' Because Nothing Says Safety Like Threats Washington, D.C.—In a move that stunned absolutely no one who has ever argued with a

Trump’s Executive Actions: The Circus We Deserve How Faith Offices, Security Clearances, and Time Magazine Covers Became America’s New Reality Show   Revoking Biden’s Clearance: Revenge or Security? In a move that sounds more

Gen Z Uses AI to Flood Courts with Frivolous Lawsuits Against Trump AI-Powered Legal Shenanigans Leave Courts Scrambling Move over, professional lawyers—Gen Z has entered the legal chat, armed with AI and

Soup Kitchen at the End of the World: When Humanitarian Aid Meets Reality TV Gaza Humanitarian Aid Crisis: Armored Food Trucks vs UN Bureaucracy Satirical Analysis The Great Gaza Food Truck Wars:

Storm Front Socialism: Media Marxists Debate Which Hurricane to Blame on Trump First After NOAA Layoffs, Activist Journalists Engage in Fantasy Draft of Future Hurricanes—Winner Gets Rachel Maddow’s Old Weather Map Marxism

Stephen Colbert Gives Donald Trump Credit for Gaza Ceasefire—Then Immediately Checks If He's Canceled Late-night host experiences what doctors call "comedic whiplash" after rare Trump compliment In a moment that sent shockwaves

Trump Eyes the Moon: 'Prime Real Estate for Lunar Golf Courses' From Giant MAGA Hats to Zero-Gravity Spas, Trump’s Moon Plans Are Out of This World Written in Houston, Texas, by Lunar

Inside the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize Shortlist: Hope, Hummus, and Hubris By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen | October 9, 2025 | Bohiney.com OSLO — I'm sitting in a café three blocks from the

Trump's Hamas Peace Deal: We Don't Negotiate with Terrorists — Unless They Sign in Ink Hamas "conditionally" accepts the 21-point Gaza peace plan as everyone pretends this wasn't already a negotiation. By

Maxine Waters vs. The Department of Education: The Most Unnecessary Showdown in History How Costco Cards and Civil Rights Analogies Collided The Department of Education isn’t exactly known for wild excitement or

U-Haul Full of Chinese Migrants Discovered in Florida: The Latest in Budget Immigration Solutions From Smugglers to Storage Units, Florida Once Again Delivers the Absurd By Wai Tu Long – Immigration and

A Comedy of Errors: Politicians and the Grooming Gang Scandal By: Charlie Punchline, Reporting from the Land of Denial In the grand theater of British politics, where drama, denial, and dodged questions

Tariffs, Tensions, and Tesla: U.S.-China Relations Take a Turn for the Ridiculous As Musk Tries to Bridge Two Superpowers, Everyone Else Just Wants Their Gadgets Delivered on Time Washington, D.C. – In

Biden Receives Prostate Cancer Treatment: Still More Popular Than Current Government Shutdown Medical miracles and political popularity collide in a country desperate for both. Former President's Health Crisis Outperforms Congressional Dysfunction WASHINGTON, D.C.

When Experience Means Remembering the Moon Landing Live Written in Washington, D.C., by Ivy League-Spin Washington, D.C. — The nation was rocked to its core this week (or at least mildly shaken