Mitch McConnell Retires: Nation Braces for Least Exciting Plot Twist in History Old Turtle Exits, New Turtle Enters—Senate GOP Leadership to Remain as Electrifying as a C-SPAN Marathon WASHINGTON, D.C. — The

Why Make America Great Again When You Can Just Deport It to El Salvador? 📍Reporting from a Discount Travel Agency That Just Added “Prison Transfers” to Its Menu Brought to you in

How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything Longer Than a Hashtag A Self-Help Guide for Donald J. Trump (Or Anyone Allergic to Books) INTRODUCTION: Being President is hard work. But reading? Now that's

Government Offices Reopen After 43-Day Shutdown — Workers Remember What Doors Look Like Federal employees returned to work Wednesday following the 43-day government shutdown, with many reporting they had temporarily forgotten

Secret Service Warns Kid Rock: Keep the Bald Eagles and Bong-Shaped Mount Rushmore at Home Patriotism or Public Menace? Kid Rock's Inauguration Party Plans Raise Eyebrows By Rusty Winchester, Bohiney News Bureau WASHINGTON,

Trump Kicks Off Presidency With Foul-Mouthed Rant as Socialists Shiver Outside A Grand Inauguration, Brought to You by Gold and Grievances By Ima Laffin, Senior Political Satirist WASHINGTON, D.C. — The nation’s capital

🧵 NEWS EXPOSÉ: “The Briefing from the Velvet Lobby” Decadent Dysfunction, Rhinestone-Studded Deception & Homoerotic Campaign Aesthetics “I always thought Trump’s White House was chaotic. I didn’t realize it was also one

Trump, Shutdown Humor, Political Satire PALM BEACH -- At a Mar-a-Lago brunch buffet featuring "Freedom Pancakes," Trump described the shutdown as "a great opportunity for Americans to stop depending on government--like

Joe Biden’s Scripted Confession: Preparing for the Pope Biden Prepares a Carefully Crafted Mea Culpa for His Highly Anticipated Meeting with Pope Francis By: Seraphina Snark Vatican City – In a move that

Trump Proposes ICE Expansion to the Moon: "No Illegal Aliens—Especially the Martian Kind" The Announcement Heard 'Round the Milky Way In a surprise announcement that has scientists, astronauts, and middle school science

Comrade Goldberg’s Panic Parade: The Atlantic’s Leader in Yellow Journalism and Red Flags An exposé of how Jeffrey Goldberg turned American journalism into a full-contact Marxist anxiety ritual. WASHINGTON, D.C. — At

Trump Rebrands DOD To 'Department of War' — Critics Ask: What's Next, Department of Peaceful Tweets? President Announces Military Rebrand After Discovering Defense "Sounds Too Passive" for Modern Warfare WASHINGTON — President

Marjorie Taylor Greene Furious After Being Called Traitor; Trump Suggests She Try Monopoly Instead Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene experienced what political analysts are calling "a very bad day in the mentions"

Supreme Court Discovers Constitution in Storage Room, Surprised by Contents "Wait, We're Supposed to Follow This?" Asks Confused Justice During Emergency Reading 234-Year-Old Document Contains Shocking Provisions About Separation of Powers and

Experts Warn Of 'Vicious Spiral' In Political Violence — Spiral Demands Apology From Experts Mathematical Concept Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Political Scientists for Character Assassination WASHINGTON — The abstract mathematical concept known

How Trump’s Legal Settlements Became Library Seed Capital The Grift That Keeps on Giving PALM BEACH, FL — When most ex-presidents fundraise for their libraries, they ask rich friends, billionaire donors, or

Community Power vs. Corporate Muscle How Local Control Rewrites Development in NYC (Mostly by Duct-Taping “Community” to Everything) Mamdani Times Once upon a time in New York City, real estate development was simple:A

Judge Mentioned “Two More Days to Prove It” By Cassandra Fedora -- Senior Satirist Correspondent What Judge gave Trump 48 Hours to prove he’s president? California Governor Gavin Newsom’s recent lawsuit against former

Trump’s Secret Weapon: Winning on Character? Yes, Really. In a World Where Everything Is Possible, Trump Might Just Win the Character Contest… and Pigs May Fly Too. Trump’s Secret Weapon: Winning on

Leadership Squabbles May Soon Rival Reality TV Drama House Democrats Brace for Infighting That Could Rival Reality TV Sources report that internal conflicts among House Democrats are intensifying, leaving staffers, lobbyists, and

A Guide to Tony Soprano entering Politics Tony Soprano's Unconventional NY Campaign In the heart of New York politics, a new contender emerges: Tony Soprano. Renowned for his unconventional tactics and mafia

Department of Veterans Affairs Discovers What Veterans Actually Are After 94 Years — Military Service Members Demand Healthcare Federal Agency Realizes Military Veterans Are Human Beings Who Served in Armed Forces

Despite Progress, Gender Bias Continues to Undermine Women’s Political Ambitions Kamala Harris’s Loss Highlights the Lingering Barriers Facing Female Candidates in America By Poppy Tech-Fantastic | Washington D.C. The idea of a female

Matthew Dowd: The Left-Wing Lightning Rod Who Just Won’t Quit The Rise of Dowd: From Political Analyst to Punchline Matthew Dowd, once a respected political analyst at MSNBC, has transformed into a

TRUMP’S NEW GOLDEN GOOSE: CORPORATE BRIBES DISGUISED AS LAWSUITS “Sue me, baby, one more time!” – Donald J. Trump, allegedly, in a cease-and-desist love letter to Target Corp. By Cassandra Blight |

The Revolution Will Be Disrupted: ICE’s 35-Step Satirical Strategy to Thwart California Marxists LOS ANGELES (Satirical Press Dispatch) — In a sun-scorched parking lot behind a Whole Foods near Echo Park,

Gavin Newsom Recalls 'Hard Childhood' — Says He Only Had One Yacht and It Was a Sailboat By the Bohiney Editorial Board | October 27, 2025 The Poor Prince of Pacific Heights Governor

Government Promises Absolute Transparency, Seals All Documents Government Transparency Contradiction: Documents Sealed After Transparency Promise | Political Satire By Clara Olsen | Bohiney.com Government Promises Absolute Transparency, Seals All Documents In a historic move

How Educated Los Angelenos Are Winning Hearts—and Baking Cookies—for America’s Most Misunderstood Agency (ICE)  ICE Is NICE! Los Angeles Bakes, Paints, and Protests with Love (and Cookies) West Coast Finds Their Inner

Winners and Losers & Trump’s "Productivity Club": Where the Builders Get Rich and the Complainers Get Podcasts When Donald Trump Jr. and Omeed Malik announced the opening of The Executive Branch

When the Democrats Load Up the Clown Car: A Marxist Circus in Three Acts It was once said that politics is just show business for ugly people. But nobody told the

Trump 2.0: The Art of the Steal, the Sequel America Didn’t Know It Needed The Executive Order Slot Machine: Big Wins, No Losers By: Trixie DeLarge, White House Correspondent for Bohiney News In

Oops, We Invited Karl Marx to the Missile Launch Group Chat Tulsi Gabbard adds traitorous Marxist to Pentagon planning thread, citing autocorrect, spiritual confusion, and “the healing power of open dialogue.” WASHINGTON,