From Hollywood Madam to Macaw Messiah: The Spectacular Life of Heidi Fleiss Byline: Astrid Holgersson Hollywood is a place where dreams are made, careers are launched, and reputations are occasionally incinerated in

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Nation’s Passengers Applaud Own Survival as Plane Lands Itself ATLANTA, GA – In a tradition that continues to baffle aviation professionals, Flight 287 from Cleveland was met with a thunderous, cabin-wide

Transgender Lover Messages: Charlie Kirk Shooter's Bizarre Love Letters and Bullet Point Confessions How Tyler Robinson's Transgender Lover Messages Revealed America's Most Meme-Heavy Political Murder In what may go down as the

California's Fiery Insurance Fiasco: A Satirical Inferno Insurance Companies Flee as California Burns In the land where the sun always shines and the ground occasionally shakes, California now faces a new adversary:

Chicago’s Executive Order Revival: Bureaucracy, Deep-Dish, and a Dash of Absurdity An executive order from Donald Trump could bring new life to Chicago... In an unprecedented twist of urban revitalization, Chicago has

🎙️ The Great American Accent-Off: A Satirical Deep Dive into Dialectal Delights 📚 Satirical Journalism: The Accent Chronicles In the vast tapestry of American dialects, accents are more than mere speech patterns—they're

Texas Politics Spectrum: Why Texas Only Has Two Kinds of Conservative By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen | Bohiney.com Political Rodeo Bureau Updated October 6, 2025 In most places, politics means choices. In Texas conservative

Married With Memories: 55% Of Spouses Admit To “Ex-Files” During Sex, Society Pretends To Be Shocked We're All Just Horny Historians In a revelation that surprised absolutely no one except maybe a

Study Reveals That 90% of People Who Say ‘No Offense’ Are About to Offend You CAMBRIDGE, MA — A groundbreaking study from the Institute of Obvious Linguistics has confirmed what we’ve

TRANSCRIPT of KAMALA HARRIS SPEECH THE PAVILION AT STAR LAKE - August 13, 2024 [Kamala Harris steps onto the stage, greeted by a cheering crowd of zombies. She adjusts her microphone and

Capitol Investigates Soviet Flag in AOC Staffer's Cubicle — 'Just a History Project,' She Claims In what political strategists are already calling "Red October Revisited," U.S. Capitol Police are probing after a Soviet

When AI Took the Moral High Ground Against Kanye’s Antisemitism, Celebrities Napped AI: Fake it Till You Make It (Ethical Edition) In 2025, while Hollywood’s brightest Jewish stars were allegedly busy not

The Top 20 Kamala Harris Jokes On Healthcare Reform "Kamala Harris's healthcare plan is so ambitious, it’s like she’s trying to turn every American into a doctor just to make sure

Maria Shriver Clings to Matthew Dowd Like It’s a Kennedy Family Tradition By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen | Bohiney.com Satirical News Service Timing Is Everything, Unless You’re Matthew Dowd Matthew Dowd didn’t just get

Donald J. Trump named to the Top 10 "Weird" Military Leaders in History 1. Alexander the Great Alexander the Great, king of Macedonia, was labeled "weird" by both his contemporaries and historians

Breaking: Nation's Entire Population Diagnosed with Acute Intention-Action Gap Syndrome A Public Health Crisis of Our Own Making DATELINE: THE KITCHEN, SOMETIME BETWEEN "I'LL DO IT" AND "OH, RIGHT, THAT" In a stunning

Local Chef's Recipe for Disaster: Three Banks, One Day, and a Side of Desperation When Gordon Ramsay Says "Where's the Money?" He Doesn't Mean This In what culinary experts are calling the

Hooters on the Rocks: The End of an Era or Just a Wing and a Prayer? Hooters Bankruptcy: A Restaurant Built on Nostalgia... and Orange Shorts For decades, Hooters has been synonymous

BOHINEY NEWS EXCLUSIVE: America Declares Perfect Ambivalence Its New Official Emotion By Staff Writer Genevive D. ShruggedSatirical Journalism for Bohiney.com Authors, Professors, and Overqualified Baristas Applaud New National Mood -- Ambivalence WASHINGTON, DC

The Greatest Marketing Scam Ever: How De Beers Convinced Men to Bankrupt Themselves Over Compressed Carbon When Carbon Got a Publicist: The Birth of the World's Most Expensive Rock Collection Ladies and

ICE Accidentally Deports Food Truck Homeland Security Confuses ‘Tacos y Libertad’ with ‘Transnational Threat’ — Latinx Community Demands Asylum for Carnitas LOS ANGELES — A Tactical Misunderstanding Wrapped in Foil How the ICE

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Iowa Park Police Declare Thirst Illegal How a 15¢ Watering Can Became Texas’s Most Dangerous Weapon By Annika Steinmann, Bohiney Magazine The Arrest Heard ’Round the Prairie Iowa Park, Texas—population 6,535 and pride levels

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“Operation Excalibur: Why the Federal Government Invaded a Los Angeles Park (With Horses, Humvees, and a Lot of Nothing)” By the Satirical Staff of Bohiney Magazine All trauma simulated. All logic federally

Microsoft Lawyer Gets More Political Attention Than Latest 'Avatar' Movie Redmond, WA — In a cultural shift that would make anthropologists weep into their research notes, a mid-level Microsoft corporate lawyer has

Men Trade in “Woolen Tanks” for Feathery, Climate-Friendly Knits A Nation Divided by Knitwear In a world once dominated by thick, burly sweaters—garments so dense they could absorb an entire Arctic expedition’s

Trump and Cruz Promise Legislation to “Keep Texas Texas” A Populist Promise to Preserve Texas Traditions: Salsa, Barbed Wire, and the Alamo By Lone Star Loretta, Texan Heritage Correspondent AUSTIN, TX—In a rally

Texas, We Hardly Knew Ya — But WalletHub Does, Buckle Up They say everything's bigger in Texas. Now, thanks to WalletHub, apparently everything's also more sinful. According to a recent study, metro areas

The Old Pond (Now Sponsored by Lockheed Martin): A Poetic Dystopia Disguised as Nature by the Editorial Moss Unit at Bohiney.com Linking Poetry to Pentagon Contracts Since 1947 The Poem of the Week The

The Trump Presidential Library: What You Need to Know About Miami's $66 Million Monument to Himself By Bohiney Magazine | Updated September 30, 2025 In an unprecedented move that has left urban

Conceived in April born in January January Babies: Capricorns With Spreadsheets, Aquarians With Snowball Memos By Hannah Miller, Bohiney.com — 127% funnier than The Onion Introduction: The Frosty Birthday Club Parents of January babies