Government Shutdown 2025: America’s Favorite New Reality Show Episode 1: "Survivor: Washington, D.C." Welcome back to America’s Favorite Unscripted Political Drama, where the stakes are high, the logic is low, and the

Camel Crossing: The Great Academic Migration From Ivy League to Sand League — Trump's Order Sends Terrorists Packing In a move that has the Middle East scratching its head, President Trump has

📰 National Guard Deployed to Chicago — Trump Claims He’s Just Looking for His Lost Mar-A-Lago Keys By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen | Bohiney.com Operation Key Hunt CHICAGO — Former President Donald Trump announced

TEXAS MARXISTS STAGE FOURTH OF JULY AMBUSH WITH FIREWORKS, BODY ARMOR, AND ABSURDITY “Nothing says ‘power to the people’ like assault rifles and a Roman candle.” By the Staff of Bohiney Magazine

Does Joe Biden Realize Eastern Europe Celebrates Christmas in January? And Other Festive Misunderstandings in Diplomatic Cheer Written in Bohiney, Kansas, by C.R. "Loose Lips" Leake WASHINGTON (Bohiney.com) - U.S. President Joe Biden said

Gavin Newsom Reads the Constitution… Mostly for Entertainment California Governor's Immigration Bills Challenge Federal Authority While Constitution Collects Dust By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen California Governor Gavin Newsom recently signed a sweeping package of

The Great Taxpayer Bake-Off Trump Cuts Waste, Fraud, and Abuse (And Marxists Are Now Applying at McDonald’s) In a brave new world where every dollar of taxpayer money is under the microscope,

JD Vance Wears Pajamas on Meet the Depress: America’s New Uniform of Confidence By Annika Steinmann, Bohiney Magazine Pajamas as Policy Former Ohio Senator and vice-president JD Vance has done what no politician

Furloughed Federal Workers Told to 'Think of It as an Unpaid Vacation' — HR Issues Memo WASHINGTON — An internal memo from the Office of Personnel Management encouraged furloughed workers to

 Congress Certifies Trump’s Victory: A Polite Political Apocalypse Kamala’s Poker Face Steals the Show: The Stoic Art of Certification America Shrugs: Congress Finds Efficiency, and Nobody Knows How to React By Lex Hyperbole,

FBI Purges 20 Agents for Kneeling — Next Up: Mandatory Prostrate Yoga Washington, D.C. — The FBI terminated twenty agents photographed kneeling during a morning ceremony, sparking accusations that America's premier law

Trump Turns D.C. Into His Own Personal Mayberry — With Armored Humvees and Parade Routes By Clarisse Fontaine, Senior Law & Order Leisure Correspondent Creamer-Gate: The “Crime Emergency” Nobody Saw Coming President Trump

Adam Schiff’s Tesla: The Self-Driving Political Machine That Runs on Indictments and Renewable Outrage A Green New Grift: How Schiff’s Tesla Became the Most Controversial Car in D.C. Washington, D.C., is no

TRUMP IS NOT A KING—AND NEITHER ARE YOU, LINDA: A Nation Screams into a Latte By America’s Last Non-Doomscrolled Journalist Published by SpinTaxi, where monarchy is just a sex role in San

Michigan Judge Dismisses Fake Elector Charges, Says 'If We Prosecuted Everyone Who Lied About Elections, Congress Would Be Empty' Legal System Discovers Prosecuting Election Lies Could Create Congressional Vacancy Crisis LANSING, MICHIGAN

Department of Defense Discovers What Defense Actually Is After 77 Years — Military Confused About Mission Federal Agency Realizes Protecting America Involves More Than Purchasing Expensive Military Equipment and Global Base

Ivanka vs. Melania: The Nickname Blood Feud That Made Mar-a-Lago a Cold War Zone In the world’s most passive-aggressive fashion runway, two women armed with couture and cutting nicknames go to

Marxists vs. ICE: A Texas Standoff With Fireworks, Bathrobes, and Marxist Marine Training Alvarado, Texas: Where Protest Meets Pyrotechnics Only in Texas can you drive out to a detention center on a

ICE Training Manual vs. L.A. Reality: A Federal Fever Dream in Tactical Beige Frontlines of ICE's Strangest Assignment Yet LOS ANGELES — When Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) launched “Operation Constitutional Cactus”

Politicians Admire Their Own Obfuscation In a display of bureaucratic ingenuity, Congress has launched an investigation into its own investigative practices. Experts describe this as "recursive oversight," which may lead to

George Santos Released from Prison; Claims He Was Just 'Auditioning for a Reality Show' In what observers are calling either a masterstroke of political theater or an extreme lapse in credibility,

Trump Strips Security from Fauci, Bolton, Pompeo Tracker Now Available on ‘Petty AF’ App By C.R. 'Loose Lips' Leake, Bohiney.com’s Official Keeper of Petty Presidential Decisions The Ultimate Justice Tour Former President Donald Trump

Paws, Policy, and Political Satire In an unprecedented political development, the small town of Barksville has elected a golden retriever as mayor. During his inaugural press conference, the canine candidate promised

Census Data Reveals Everyone Is Average — Societal Panic Ensues By Ingrid Falk | Bohiney.com In what statistical experts are calling a historic demographic shock that has fundamentally shaken the foundations of

Biden's News Conference Eight Questions for President Biden (If He’d Take Them) Setting: President Biden strides to the podium in the East Room, flanked by twinkling holiday decorations and aides who look like

General Caine’s Pentagon Tightrope: How to Bomb Iran Without Bombing the Briefing Welcome to the Pentagon’s New Reality Show On Thursday morning, the Pentagon briefing room smelled like a cross between a

Bernie Sanders Unwittingly Declared Emperor of Vermont by Protest Sign Inside the coronation that fractured the “No Kings” movement and launched 14 subcommittees on imperial metaphor ethics. BURLINGTON, VT — At precisely

Trump’s Guantanamo Bluff: The Art of Scaring Migrants Without Lifting a Finger Guantanamo Is Empty: It Was Trump's Bluff  A Political Masterstroke or Just Another Day in Trump’s Reality Show? In what

Letitia James: When New York's Attorney General Became a Lifestyle Brand When most people picture an Attorney General, they imagine a stern, robe-wearing moral compass — a kind of legal Jedi

Border Patrol Chief Freed From Daily Check-Ins: Court Rules Monitoring Every Other Day Is 'Sufficient' In a ruling that legal experts are calling "unexpectedly convenient" and conspiracy theorists are calling "the

Marxists Mar Patriotic Student Meeting: When Toilet Paper Becomes a Political Statement Eye-Witness Report from the Turning Point USA Student Action Summit By the World's Oldest Tenured Professor and a Philosophy Major

Thugs on a Train and you are Paying for It Transportation Transformation Free Transit, Electric Fleets, and the Mobility Revolution (Now with Extra Chaos) Mamdani Times In Mayor Mamdani's utopian vision of progressive New

Cuomo Begs Sliwa to Drop Out of NYC Mayoral Race; Sliwa Responds, 'No Chance' In a political showdown that has left both voters and therapists equally perplexed, former Governor Andrew Cuomo reportedly begged Republican mayoral candidate Curtis