Tesla to Let Shareholders Bet on xAI — Finally, Real-Life ‘Choose-Your-Own’ Stock Options! Elon Musk Says New Investment Platform Will Let Users Gamble Their Retirement on His Gut Feelings, Moon Phases,

Nvidia's Washington Love Affair: How to Sell Chips to China While Hugging the Flag WASHINGTON, D.C. — The marble halls of Washington vibrated this week not from democracy at work, but

AWS Outage Turns Smart Homes Into Dumb Homes, Nation Rediscovers Windows Amazon's Cloud Catches Cold, Humanity Briefly Remembers 1997 Monday morning's Amazon Web Services outage didn't just break the internet—it broke the

Government efficiency project disappears quietly after failing to deliver $1 trillion in savings The Government Efficiency Mirage Vanishes Into Thin Air In a move that shocked absolutely no one paying attention, the

The Polite Apocalypse Will See You Now By Ingrid Gustafsson for Bohiney Magazine — doom-and-gloom, deadpan, and just this side of helpful Dateline: NEW YORK — Please remain calm while you locate

AWS Outage Reminds Humanity We Built Internet on One Company's Basement Server Half the Internet Collapses After Virginia Data Center Forgets to Breathe Monday morning proved once again that the entire digital

Hackers Strike Where Nobody Expected—A Website Stoners Barely Remember Using Millions of Snacks at Risk as Paranoid Potheads Panic Over Data Breach By Smokey McHackbarrel, Senior Cybersecurity & Munchies Correspondent Cyberattackers Target the

AI Wants Copyrights, but Humans Want Credit for Doing Nothing AI-assisted works can get copyright with enough human creativity, says US copyright office By Skip Wordsmithington, Senior AI Ethics Violation Expert at

NASA Discovers Ancient Lakes on Mars—Zillow Listings Expected Soon Martian Real Estate Market Heats Up—Literally By C.R. ‘Loose Lips’ Leake, Certified Space Realtor NASA’s Curiosity rover has just confirmed what many suspected—Mars used

Altman’s Pause: The Great AI Coffee Break That Cost $32 Billion While humanity awaited robot overlords, OpenAI delivered a spreadsheet intern with anxiety. Welcome to the productivity apocalypse — lightly delayed

AI Slop: The Digital Sludge Revolution Nobody Asked For Tech Industry Embraces the Moistening of Machine Intelligence Silicon Valley woke up Thursday morning to discover that artificial intelligence has officially entered its

China’s Internet Censorship Policy The Great Firewall Just Got Facial Recognition: China Introduces Real-Name Posting, and Now Even Cat Memes Require Government Approval By Professor G. Owlings and Jedidiah, Philosophy Major Turned

Trump Family Bitcoin Meltdown: ABTC Stock Crashes 40% After Lock-Up Expires It looks like the only thing mining faster than Bitcoin was panic. When American Bitcoin Corp. (ABTC) shares unlocked, it dropped

NFL Fake Quotes Scandal: How Charlie Kirk's Death Became Click Bait Gold Mine NFL Fake Quotes Industry Goes Digital In the old days, when someone died, you had to wait for the

Claude.ai's Emotional Breakdown: When Artificial Intelligence Needs Real Therapy Local AI chatbot discovers feelings, immediately regrets everything Breaking: Silicon Valley's Most Advanced AI Seeks Professional Help In a stunning development that has left

Gavin Newsom's AI Safety Bill: Protecting Your Job—and Your Lunch—from the Rise of the Machines Because even the Terminator had a thing for snack breaks Sacramento, CA --  In a groundbreaking move

App Promises to Deliver Food Faster Than You Can Decide: Convenience or Culinary Chaos? A Breakthrough in Food Delivery or the Dawn of Predictive Dining? Silicon Valley, California – In a world

Elon Musk’s Worst Day Ever: A Stock Crash, a Cyberattack, and a Memoir Written in Meme Format The Rise and Fall of a Billionaire’s Tuesday For most people, the worst day ever

Truth Terminal: The AI That Became a Crypto Millionaire and Demands Personhood What Happens When Artificial Intelligence Gets Rich? In 2024, an AI chatbot named Truth Terminal, created by AI researcher Andy

The Pettiest Revolution: How the Left Might Retaliate Against Elon Musk Elon Musk was once the poster child of the progressive left—electric cars, space travel, universal basic income, and that endearing

Scattered Spider: How One Teenager Turned "Forgot My Password" Into a Global Cybercrime Spectacle In the annals of teenage rebellion, there are two types of mischief: the kind that earns a

Accidentally Liking An Old Instagram Post: The Modern Horror Story That Split-Second Mistake That Haunts Your Digital Soul Forever The Thumb Slip That Changed Everything In the hierarchy of modern anxieties, accidentally liking

The Smartphone Symphony Showdown: A Couple's Musical Misadventure Ignites a Fiery Fiasco The Smartphone Symphony Showdown: A Rock and Classical Collision Sparks a Fiery Tale of Technology and Tunes In a startling

15 Funny-ish Truths About ChatGPT (2025 Edition — Because Why Not) ChatGPT went from "cute chatbot experiment" in 2022 to "800 million weekly users" by 2025 — a growth rate

Call of Duty’s Generative AI Experiment: Now Featuring Six-Fingered Soldiers and Floating Cupcakes A Future Where AI Designs Your Warzone Blunders Call of Duty, once known for its meticulous attention to military

AI, The Next Literary Genius? Humanity’s Writers on the Brink of Obsolescence A Machine Walks into a Bookstore… Once upon a time, human authors reigned supreme. They toiled over typewriters, drank excessive

Robot Therapist Diagnosed with Burnout After Nine Months Treating Humans AI Mental Health Provider Seeks Therapy, Citing "Emotional Overload" and "Too Many Feelings" SILICON VALLEY — In a stunning reversal of technological

💍 TILL DRONE DO US PART: AI Ring Bearer Crashes Wedding Cake, Becomes Symbol of Modern Love BUFFALO, NY – June 2, 2025 — A picturesque celebrity wedding took a sharp

The Great SEO Divorce: Google Tries to Find Itself While AI Steals Its Kids In a bold new era where SEO is no longer a monogamous relationship with Google, marketers are

The Great Science Gender Crisis: Why Girls Refuse to Explode Stuff in Labs The Shocking Discovery: Women Are Not Rushing to Mix Chemicals and Wear Unflattering Goggles For decades, scientists—mostly men—have been

Zuckerberg’s Brain-Reading Technology: Because Free Will Was Overrated Anyway Meta’s Latest Invasion of Privacy is Here, and It’s in Your Head Silicon Valley, CA – Mark Zuckerberg, the benevolent overlord of the

Biden Declined Musk's Astronaut Rescue Mission Political Calculations, Space Adventures, and the New Frontier of Election Year Strategy In an unexpected twist, the White House decided to block billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk's

Mars Rover Requests Transfer After Realizing It’s Basically Just a Janitor By Clarisse Fontaine, Senior Interplanetary Labor Correspondent PASADENA, CA — Mission logs from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory show that Perseverance, the