Breakthrough Election Reform: Everyone Now Votes for the Same Person to Avoid Disappointment By General B.S. Slinger for Bohiney Magazine In what pundits are calling "the most unifying political move since collectively

MoveOn Calls on Schumer to Step Aside—Because Leadership Should Be a Group Project Washington, D.C.—Progressive advocacy group MoveOn has publicly called on Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer to step aside, prompting political analysts, staffers, and

The Bull Moose Resistance (BMR) 2028 Platform No More Lies. No More Tricks. Just Hooves and Antlers. America has suffered long enough under corrupt politicians, swamp creatures, and people who wear suits

Gov. Hochul’s $252 Billion Spendapalooza: New York’s Most Expensive Magic Trick The Only Thing Getting ‘Bailed Out’ is Hochul’s Approval Rating By Penny Pinchman, Senior Correspondent for Fiscal Foolery Gov. Kathy Hochul has

Polls Don't Change Minds, They Just Start Fights: The Psychology of Political Surveys By Coed Cherry, Bohiney Magazine Why Polls Provoke Instead of Persuade Ultimately, polls don't persuade—they provoke. Like a toddler yelling

Public Demands Privacy — Government Immediately Records Everything By Ingrid Gustafsson | Bohiney.com In a textbook case of ironic governmental efficiency that would make Kafka weep with laughter, citizens' passionate clamoring for

Trump's 90,000-Square-Foot White House Ballroom: The People's House Becomes a Private Palace Picture this: A stately mansion built in 1800, draped in democracy, history, and the occasional ghost of presidents past.

The Great Valor Heist: How the Left Tried to Rob Charlie Kirk’s Legacy By Alan Nafzger WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what historians are already calling the most audacious intellectual heist since the

Wichita Falls: The City That's Rising Above and Beyond! The Unprecedented Rise of Wichita Falls Welcome to Wichita Falls, or should we say, Wichita Rises! In a bold move that's caught the

Nation Torn Apart by Dress Color, Unites Over Lack of Solutions In the Great Dress Debate of 2015, the nation found itself divided not over politics, economics, or even sports, but

Socialists/Democrats Name Their Price on Ending the Government Shutdown: Extortion or Just Smart Negotiating? The $3 Trillion Ransom Note Arrives at Capitol Hill Ladies and gentlemen, gather round: it appears the grand

TRUMP DECLARES D.C. A CRIME ZONE, SENDS IN TASK FORCE, LEAVES COMMON SENSE BEHIND By Special Correspondent Fritzy Arbuckle Bohiney Newsroom – August 2025 “The crime is so bad in D.C., even the

The Perils of Organizing: FIEL Members Claim Retaliation After Group Formation In what can only be described as an irony-soaked saga of modern immigration politics, members of FIEL — Familias, Inmigrantes

City of Los Angeles Declares Potholes “Urban Mindfulness Traps” Civic leaders rebrand craters as opportunities for spiritual awareness and spine realignment. LOS ANGELES — In a bold new initiative from City Hall,

Biden's "Out, Damn Spot, Out!" Freudian Slip or Admission of Guilt? Washington D.C. -- In an unprecedented and theatrical twist, President Joe Biden began his Sunday night speech with a line straight

15 More Reasons to Hate Trump: America's Sacred Landmarks Get the Mar-a-Logo Treatment Experts confirm he bulldozed everything from the Liberty Bell to Old Faithful in an effort to Make History

Poll Finds Half of Americans Disapprove of Trump Demolishing the East Wing — Other Half Thought "East Wing" Was a Chicken Restaurant By Bohiney Magazine Satirical News Desk A human collaboration between

A legally binding apology note from Congress that fixes nothing but feelings. Congress today passed the "Oops, Our Bad" Bill, a sweeping legislative masterpiece that admits-- in elegant legal handwriting-- that

Politicians Demand Bubble Wrap Suits After Charlie Kirk Gets Sniped at Utah Pep Rally Breaking: Public Servants Discover They're Actually Public, Panic Ensues The assassination of Charlie Kirk has triggered the most

No More Government Credit Card, No More Lingerie: Bureaucrats Gone Broke Y’all ever seen a D.C. bureaucrat without a government credit card?It’s like watching a Kardashian at a Dollar General. Confused,

AI Politics, Deepfake Satire, Digital Comedy WASHINGTON -- The White House announced a 24-hour Deepfake Marathon where AI-generated videos of politicians are streamed as "interpretive reality." A senior aide explained, "We're

Trump Tells 60 Minutes He Ended the Shutdown Last Week, America Just "Didn't Get the Memo" In a televised interview that left anchors reaching for coffee and dictionaries simultaneously, former President

Defunding by Design Police Reform, Public Safety, and the Redistribution of Security (With a Side of Socialism) Mamdani Times In the latest chapter of Mayor Mamdani’s progressive New York, the city decided to

Congress Bans WhatsApp – Cites ‘Dangerous Transparency,’ Recommends iMessage, Morse Code Filed from Capitol Hill, a Signal group chat, and the Congressional Walkie-Talkie Closet By: The World’s Oldest Tenured Professor and a

California Budget Achieves Enlightenment, Becomes Invisible to Math By Staff Satirists, Sacramento Bureau of Delusionary Accounting SACRAMENTO — In a heroic feat of budgetary sorcery not seen since Enron’s golden years, California’s

Discovering the "True" Wichita Falls: A Leaky Faucet Revelation In Wichita Falls, a local resident's claim has turned a mundane city hall leaky faucet into the city's latest point of interest,

Congress Discovers Basic Math is Actually Bipartisan—Immediately Votes to Defund It Local lawmakers shocked to learn numbers don't have political affiliations By Alan Nafzger, Bohiney.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that

Biden Mistakenly Signed Executive Order Declaring Wednesday Illegal Former President's Final Week Gaffe Left Nation Confused About Mid-Week Existence In what historians are already calling "the most Biden thing that ever happened,"

National Guard Deployed to City You Forgot Existed -- Because Why Not? Military Satire, Forgotten Cities, Absurd Deployment CLEVELAND -- The Pentagon announced Tuesday that the National Guard has been deployed to

Trump's $300 Million White House Ballroom: Corporate Donors vs. Heritage Board Apple, Google and Meta help fund controversial East Wing demolition as heritage board scrambles for control Picture this: A board of

The Five Marxist Suspects in the Assassination of Charlie Kirk: A Deep Dive Investigation America's First Marxist Sniper Scandal Rocks Conservative Movement The sudden assassination of conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk has left

Op-Ed: Epstein the Populist? The Strange, Satirical Theory of Why He Never Sank Trump The Populist Who Wasn’t, Backing the Populist Who Was Every few months, new Epstein emails surface like cursed

The Art of the Troll: How Trump's 2025 Speech Was a Masterclass in Socialist Provocation Donald Trump's return to the congressional podium on March 4, 2025, wasn't just another speech-it was