ROI of Workplace Benefits Programs ROI or RIP? How Small Businesses Are Gaming the Benefits System By Clara Olsen, Bohiney.com — still 127% funnier than The Onion Benefits as Math, Not Morale Small businesses

Tesla: From Cars to Artificial Intelligence—Is This the World’s First Auto-to-AI Transformation? When Selling Cars Takes a Backseat to Selling the Future Tesla’s Stock Drama: A Rollercoaster Without Seatbelts Tesla’s stock has been

Revealing the Chaos Unmasking America’s Love-Hate Relationship with the Truth By: Maxwell Snarkson, Senior Satirist of Inconvenient Observations America has always prided itself on being a beacon of truth, justice, and freedom. But

Donald J. Trump named to Top 10 "Weird" Business Leaders in History World History - "Weird" Business Leaders 1. Richard Branson Richard Branson, the founder of the Virgin Group, has always been considered

Families Sue Camp Mystic Over Flood Deaths—Texas Retreat Rebrands as 'Extreme Wet Experience' Texas—In a lawsuit that reads like a cautionary tale for both parents and thrill-seekers, families have accused Camp

Man Under Investigation for Allegedly Taking Advantage of Young Women Who Seeking Careers in Satire "He Told Me My Punchline Had Potential… and Then Asked If I Had a Headshot," Says

Network discovers that post-election malaise hits harder than champagne hangovers at political victory parties Democracy Dies in Disinterest: The Great December Disconnect NBC News experienced a catastrophic 46% traffic plunge in December,

City Replaces Crosswalks With Trampolines for Bouncing Pedestrians Spring-loaded streets transform commuting into cardio as safety meets absurdity at intersection By Junglepussy & Heidi Ladein Department of Kinetic Transport Launches Bounce Revolution According to

White House Prayer Mishap: Is It a Pope or The Pope? White House Prays for A Pope, Any Pope! In a turn of events that had both journalists and theologians scratching their

Michael Kors Shuts Down San Francisco Centre Mall Location – Another Blow to the City Where Even Shoplifters Have a Rewards Program Retailers abandon the city as shoplifters take over, leaving

Town Council Bans Yoga Pants After Mistaking Them for Dangerous Elastic Technology SPRINGFIELD, USA — In a move some are calling “progressive and terrifying,” the Springfield Town Council voted unanimously to

L.A. Yoga Studios Vote to Secede from City, Form “United States of Namaste” Peace, Love, and Passive-Aggressive Zoning Laws LOS ANGELES — In a stunning act of stretch-based secession, over 300 yoga

The Great Restaurant Class Detective: How to Spot the Unworthy Diners Among Us Breaking: Local Food Critics Discover Revolutionary Method to Judge Human Worth by Fork Technique In a stunning development that

Breaking: Brilliant Scholar Exposes How Marxists Push Books to Hide Economic Failures Revolutionary Discovery: The Great Communist Bait-and-Switch Operation In a stunning expose that has sent shockwaves through both literary circles and

Grand Teton Mountain Runner Convicted: When Did Running Uphill Become Illegal? Record-Breaking Runner Faces Charges for Moving Too Fast In a stunning twist that has left athletes, hikers, and casual pedestrians questioning

Nation’s Skeletons Demand Union Recognition After Being Dragged Out of Closets Every October Skeletons Strike Back: The Hollow Revolt of October October 26 — In a development no one saw coming (because

Jane Goodall Dies at 91; Chimpanzees Demand Tribute Concert With Bananas By Elinor Jørgensen | Bohiney Magazine Tanzania — The world mourns the passing of Dr. Jane Goodall, 91, while the chimpanzee community has

Man Declares War on HOA After Being Fined for Breathing Too Loudly on Lawn Threatens to replace flower beds with inflatable hot tub and live iguanas Suburban warfare escalated this week in

San Francisco's New Motto: Military Presence Meets Mural Culture City Hall Wanted a Parade, Got a Military Review Instead SAN FRANCISCO -- City Hall confirmed Thursday that the mayor's office had requested

Supreme Court Conversion Therapy Ban: Republicans Call It the Ultimate Nanny State Overreach When nine justices in robes become the arbiters of who you're allowed to be The Supreme Court is weighing

Vain David Muir Holds the Line Against Disasters—One Perfectly Coiffed Strand at a Time David Muir Named Most Narcissistic Idiot in America Los Angeles, CA – In a world on fire—literally—one man’s

Wellness companies profit massively by suggesting tired employees buy candles instead of demanding systemic change The global self-care industry reached $450 billion in annual revenue last year by convincing exhausted workers

Football Coach Walz Fierce Competitor on the Field, Socialist Advocate in the Classroom Saint Paul, MN -- In the small town of Mankato, Minnesota, the name Coach Tim "Red" Walz evokes a

Supreme Court Won't Hear Challenge to Gay Marriage Ruling—Justice Prevails, Cue Confetti Washington, D.C.—In a decision that some are calling "predictable, inevitable, and slightly overdue," the Supreme Court announced it will not hear

Alex O'Keefe Train Incident: When TV Writers Meet Transit Authority FX Writer Removed from Metro-North Over Controversial Leg Positioning New York, NY – The Alex O'Keefe train incident that made headlines last

LA Politicians and the Great Arroyo Seco Shuffle: An Exposé If you've ever driven past the Arroyo Seco and wondered why the freeway seems to host a permanent camping festival, congratulations

Elves Fear a New Amazon Takeover Blockchain Meets the Naughty and Nice List By Jolly Byte, North Pole Tech Correspondent NORTH POLE—Santa Claus has officially entered the digital age, announcing in a surprise

The "Weird" Strategy: A Satirical Analysis If Donald Trump is "Weird" Who Else Is or Has Been Weird? Washington, DC -- In a bizarre twist of political maneuvering, a reporter named Rebecca

Trump Requests Sentencing Delay A Hole-in-One Approach to Justice By C.R. "Pardon Me" Mulligan, Courtroom Correspondent Extraordinaire In a scene that can only be described as a bizarre mix of a legal drama

Virginity 2.0: When Poetry Becomes Apostasy in Paradise HEAVEN—In what experts are calling “the most ludicrous doctrinal enforcement since angels discovered karaoke,” a special tribunal of Wahhabi afterlife regulators has stripped

Florida Man Declares Independence from Time, Burns Calendar in Ceremonial Protest By Staff Writer | Bohiney News Service TAMPA, FL — A local man has formally seceded from the calendar, declaring himself

People Who Believe Their Kombucha Is Haunted: When Fermentation Meets Delusion The SCOBY Ghost Stories You Didn't Ask For The Probiotic Poltergeist Phenomenon In the overlap between wellness culture and supernatural belief systems,

White House Launches Task Force To Combat Social Media Misinformation — Sends Findings Via Fax Machine Presidential Administration Applies 1990s Communication Technology to Combat 2020s Information Challenges WASHINGTON — The White House