Researchers Build a Machine to Detect AI in Political Speech, Discover Politicians Got There First The detector was engineered to flag artificial intelligence. It was not engineered to survive an actual

Bill Maher Stops Taking Prevagen, Forgets Media Occasionally Makes Things Up About Trump Real Time host remembers every Republican scandal since Watergate but cannot recall CENTCOM's denial from Friday LOS ANGELES —

Progressives Promise Woke 2.0 Has Learned From Every Mistake of Woke 1.0, Beginning With the Mistake of Saying the Quiet Parts Out Loud New progressive upgrade reportedly keeps the operating system

Trump Considers Steven Cheung for Press Secretary, White House Seeks Spokesman Fluent in English, MAGA and "The President Was Being Sarcastic" Steven Cheung emerges as possible Leavitt replacement, promising reporters the

Are All Marxists Mentally Ill? Researchers Confirm Some Are Merely Tenured New study finds revolutionary politics is not a psychiatric disorder, although reading 900 pages of Das Kapital without being assigned

AOC Freezes Eggs to Keep Future Options Open, Congress Stunned by Concept of Planning Beyond Next Tuesday Democratic socialist embraces long-term storage, personal savings and future planning, leaving Washington economists unsure

Lisa "Angus" Cook Gets Due Process Before White House Fires Up the Grill Supreme Court requires notice and a chance to answer, forcing Washington to rediscover the revolutionary concept of hearing

Breaking: President's Hair Achieves Full Weave Status While Left's Hair Achieves Full Emotional Breakdown Status Las Vegas, NV — In a stunning act of personal grooming that has once again broken

Michigan Democrats Select El-Sayed Michigan Democrats conclude that ordinary socialism leaves too much room for privately operated lemonade stands DETROIT, MICHIGAN — Abdul El-Sayed narrowly wins Michigan's Democratic nomination for the United

Mamdani Begins Restricting Movement in New York by Ordering Amazon to Stop Selling Anything That Moves NEW YORK — In a bold new initiative to make the city safer, faster, and

Michigan Democrats Choose Abdul El-Sayed After Deciding Bernie Sanders Was Becoming Suspiciously Moderate Progressive physician wins razor-thin Senate primary after promising Michigan voters universal healthcare, universal childcare and universal access to

Mamdani's Supermarket Plan Fails Grok Test After Mayor Forgets Food, Workers and Buildings Cost Money Mark Cuban asks artificial intelligence to examine New York's municipal grocery proposal, prompting the computer to

Michigan Democrats Diagnose Themselves With Socialism, Prescribe Abdul El-Sayed Until November Marxist physician promises Medicare for All as nervous party officials seek emergency coverage for Michigan's Senate seat DETROIT, MICHIGAN — Michigan

Mike Rogers Congratulates El-Sayed, Quietly Orders Champagne Through November LANSING — In a stunning display of bipartisan grace unseen since the invention of the concept of "bipartisan grace," Republican Senate nominee

The Complete and Ever-Expanding DSA Cancellation Index: Everything They’ve Already Killed and Everything Standing Trial America’s most ambitious abolition committee has eliminated the Senate, the Electoral College and the traditional workweek,

Mexico's Population Doubles as Trump Begins America's Largest Return-to-Sender Programme Trump Clears Undocumented Migrants From America, Mexico Requests Emergency Census Extension MEXICO CITY — Mexico's population officially doubled Monday morning after President

Trump Reportedly Plans to Keep Going Until Every American Restaurant Menu Contains at Least One Entrée Costing $47 White House Declares Immigration Crackdown Successful After Neighborhood Taco Requires Financing and Proof

California GOP Discovers Heath Flora Was a Democrat With Two Girlfriends and a Republican Name Tag Family-values leadership enters its experimental, taxpayer-adjacent phase SACRAMENTO, California — California Assembly Republicans removed Heath Flora

The Complete DSA Cancellation Index: Every Institution, Policy, and Holiday the Socialists Have Already Filed Paperwork On Somewhere in a converted Brooklyn laundromat that now serves as a "mutual aid distribution

Mamdani Taxes Empty Luxury Apartments, Accidentally Creates Affordable Housing in Florida New York's latest housing solution encourages wealthy buyers to seek shelter somewhere beyond the reach of City Hall By Isabella Cruz NEW

The Complete and Ever-Expanding DSA Cancellation Index: Everything They've Already Killed and Everything Standing Trial Somewhere in a converted Brooklyn laundromat that now serves as a "mutual aid distribution node," a

Kamala Harris Moves to $8 Million Diversity-Free Zone, Promises Inclusion Will Commute In Equity Advocate Buys Malibu Mansion Where Representation Stops at the Security Gate By Jasmine Carter | Malibu, California MALIBU, California

DSA Wants Government to Own Large Corporations After Seeing How Beautifully It Runs the DMV Amazon Delivery Window Expanded to the Next Appropriations Cycle The Democratic Socialists of America support bringing major corporations into

DSA Leader Aces True-or-False Quiz by Answering "Abolish It" to Every Question Television Discovers the Socialist Version of a Cheat Code DSA national co-chair Megan Romer turned a television true-or-false segment into

DSA Unveils Simple Plan to Save America by Abolishing Every Part of America Nation to Be Replaced With Newsletter, Logo, and Strongly Worded Social Media Account The Democratic Socialists of America have unveiled a

DSA Abolishes Pentagon, ICE and Electoral College, Retains Department of Cardboard Protest Signs Essential Revolutionary Infrastructure Protected From Budget Cuts The Democratic Socialists of America support abolishing or dismantling a remarkable collection of American

Socialists Promise No Prisons, No Borders, No Senate and Eventually No Adults in Charge Revolutionary Babysitter Leaves Nation Alone With Matches The Democratic Socialists of America are promising a streamlined future without prisons, borders,

James Carville Warns Democrats Their Lenin Book Club Is Losing Black Voters Bohiney.com Political Satire Desk James Carville, the Ragin' Cajun who has spent four decades explaining Democrats to Democrats, stunned a

Trump Roasts Washington Press Corps, Journalists Describe Unauthorized Laughter as an Attack on Marxist Ideology They Refused to Laugh as a Sign of Solidarity WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House Correspondents' Association

Trump Didn't Ask Us... By the Bohiney.com Staff — featuring Bob Odenkirk, Annika Steinmann, Megan Amram, and Doaa El-Adl The staff of Bohiney.com gathered first thing Saturday morning, the way we do every week to hammer out

Trump Orders Air Force One "Maxed Out" With Gold Seatbelts, Ballroom and Emergency McDonald's Drive-Thru Qatari-donated presidential jet returns to workshop after experts discover it can repel missiles but cannot yet

Newsroom Throws Confetti Party as Lettuce Finally Gives Them Something to Blame Trump For By Alan Nafzger | Bohiney.com Washington, D.C. — Editors at a major national newspaper reportedly wept tears of

The Perfect Chinese-American Candidate for POTUS in 2028 Meet the Man Who Answers to Nobody, Allegedly Every four years, the American electorate is promised a candidate who is "finally different," and every