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Newsom's “Patriot Shop”: The MAGA mockery you didn’t know you needed It’s 2025 and California Governor Gavin Newsom just launched the political prank of the century: the “PATRIOT SHOP.” This is

Fox & CNN Compete In Ratings Over Who Can Say 'Unity' Most Dramatically After Kirk Death Cable News Networks Launch Unprecedented Contest Over Most Compelling Pronunciation of Democratic Ideal NEW YORK —

JB Pritzker Gets Out in Front of Weight Issue – By Standing on a Scale and Breaking It The Heaviest Political Issue in Illinois CHICAGO – In a move that can only

Why Marxist Politicians Can't Stay Faithful: The de Blasio Disaster Former NYC Mayor's Alleged Affair Exposes Pattern Among Left-Wing Leaders In a stunning display of progressive hypocrisy that would make even Andrew Cuomo

📰 Gavin Newsom Fails to Outwit Stephen Miller, Accidentally Declares Himself Supreme Woke Warlord of California By: Bohiney Magazine’s Bureau of Marxist Surveillance and Hair Gel Forensics In a recent and gloriously

Troops Deployed Across U.S. Cities — Trump Says It's Just Big, Friendly Neighborhood Watch The Department of Defense has deployed troops to multiple American cities in what officials describe as "domestic peacekeeping operations,"

Mishing: The Newest Cybersecurity Threat That Will Definitely Ruin Your Life Because Regular Scams Just Weren’t Stressful Enough Mishing, the latest digital scam that sounds more like an adorable British insult than

Trump Declares ‘MAGA Birthright’: All Babies Born Within Sound of a Rally Are Now Citizens Filed from Tulsa, a labor-and-delivery ward in Iowa, and the lobby of a Harley-Davidson dealership By: The

45 Random Acts of Kindness Toward ICE (with Satirical Details) When L.A. Loves Law Enforcement: The Rise of ICE Appreciation Culture In a plot twist no screenwriter in Hollywood saw coming—not even

Trump’s “Pardon Me!” Tour: The Art of Presidential Forgiveness Top 10 Trump J6 Pardons -->> What is Wrong With These People?  By Crystal Rightly, Senior Patriot Correspondent WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald J. Trump

Battle of the Bunglers: Mamdani, Schumer, and AOC Compete in the “Idiot Response Olympics” to Trump’s Iran Strike By Alan Nafzger & The Bohiney Magazine Staff The First-Ever Triple Crown of Dumb

Zohran Mamdani’s Marxist NYC: A Workers’ Paradise Where the Rich Flee, the Poor Starve, and the Buses are Free (But Don’t Move) By the Staff of Spintaxi.com – Proudly Fomenting Class

Socialists Without Anything Else to Offer, Invent Constitutional Crisis; People Just Love Trump and Reject Democratic Bullshit Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, to the greatest political show ever invented: The

Welcome to the DC Clown Show: Musk and DOGE Take the Stage The Great Musk-DOGE-NGO Discovery In the grand theater of American politics, where absurdity reigns supreme, we find ourselves asking questions

Federal Judge Sides With Gators: Orders Closing of “Alligator Alcatraz” Gators File Class Action After Being Forced To Eat Immigrates Judge Makes  "A Modest Proposal"  By Alison Silverman | Bohiney Magazine Welcome to the

The Inaugural Address That Could Have Been A Glimpse at Trump's Omitted Quips By Political Correspondent, Alex Thompson On January 20, 2025, President Donald Trump delivered his second inaugural address within the historic

Meet the American Impostor Websites Sneakier Than a Politician's Smile! Forget Russian Fake News—Meet the American Impostor Websites Sneakier Than a Politician's Smile! American Satire Sites Are So Realistic, Even Politicians Believe

A Chicken Litter Fable of Doom and Democracy Senator Murphy’s Endless Crisis About Nothing WASHINGTON—In a world where every day is the last day of democracy, Senator Chris Murphy is the chicken

Top 10 Reasons the Marxists Will Lose THE Civil War It's not Football but... Socialists 0 and the Patriots 28 By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com Senior Field Correspondent (Probably Hiding Behind a Grill

Trump Orders 'Arc de Trump' for 250th Anniversary; Critics Say It's Just a Big Orange Doorway In a move hailed by some as "visionary" and by others as "architectural indigestion," former

When Politicians Can’t Keep a Civil Tongue: Democracy’s Loudest Yelp Review There was a time—legend has it—when politicians debated with dignity, spoke in paragraphs, and occasionally wore pants that matched their

BREAKING: Texas Redistricting Map Quietly Solves America’s “Crockett Problem” A Nation Breathes Easier Some nations celebrate technological breakthroughs. Others cheer medical miracles. America, however, finds itself rejoicing over something more profound: the

Budget Neutral or Budget Nightmare? The Decade-Long Battle Over Paying for Progressive New York (Spoiler: It’s Complicated) Mamdani Times In Mayor Mamdani’s progressive New York, budgets are more than spreadsheets—they are grand works

Congressional Gridlock, Supernatural Politics, Satire WASHINGTON -- In an unprecedented act of legislative transparency that somehow made things less clear, Congress admitted Thursday that recent failed bills were "probably sabotaged by

🧊 ICE Agents Request Raise After Discovering They're Worth Less Than a Used Prius Union Demands "Blue Book Value Reassessment" Before Anyone Collects Their Bounty WASHINGTON, D.C. (BOHINEY) — Following reports that

The Top Ten Reasons the Proud Boys Haven’t Assassinated Gavin Newsom Yet Because let’s be honest—if you’ve ever seen these guys in action, the only thing they’ve successfully executed is a

NYC Faces 'Islamabad Invasion' as Mamdani, Biden, and Obama Orchestrate Mass Relocation By: Chloe Summers, Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen, & General B.S. Slinger New York City—The city that never sleeps may soon find

Democrats Navigate Government Shutdown Drama Like Reality TV Stars Political Theater Reaches Fever Pitch as Shutdown Deadline Looms Washington, D.C. — In this week's episode of Capitol Clinging, Democrats find themselves in

🧨 Homeland Security Issues Travel Advisory: Don't Go Outside If You're Us Agency Replaces Daily Briefing with a Single PowerPoint Slide Reading, "Duck." EL PASO, TEXAS (BOHINEY) — Following credible intelligence that

Fire Chief’s Role and the Lack of Preparedness: Firefighting 101 (But Only If You Pass the Diversity Quiz) Let’s talk about the fire chief's role in California’s fire management. Now, I’m

Zohran Mamdani and the Pretty Face of Hate: Code Words, Dog Whistles, and a Rent-Controlled Apocalypse By the Editors of SatireopolisThis article is a collaboration between the world’s oldest tenured professor

Nation's Infrastructure Plan Unveiled on PowerPoint Slide That Immediately Crashed By Marcus Wellington-Fitzgerald | Bohiney.com In a groundbreaking demonstration of America's unwavering commitment to technological progress and digital competency, the federal government